The Love Potion of Haruhi Suzumiya
by babbler
Summary: Even a fake love potion is a problem when Haruhi is involved.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The author of the fanfiction (babbler) does not, in any way, profit from the story and that all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator.

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**In the Beginning**

Chapter 1: The Love Potion of Haruhi Suzumiya

"Damn it's hot."

I stepped outside into the humid morning air. Even this early it was like walking into a steamy bathroom after someone's had a shower. I must be a masochist to pick a school on top of such a huge hill knowing I had to make the trip everyday, five days a week, for three years.

Déjà vu crept in. Did I complain about this in a similar way at some point? Maybe it was because of all the times I complained about this blasted hill over the last two years.

Other students were also trudging up the hill looking miserable, sleepy, or both. Inside the school was slightly better since it was shielded from the sun but it was still muggy and gross.

As I walked into the classroom I noticed the oppressive atmosphere. Everyone looked miserable and hot. The sun was streaming into the windows making the room feel like a sauna.

Everyone was miserable, except Haruhi that is, she was playing with a small pink bottle as she stared out the window. Even from the other side of the classroom that smirk and energetic mood were unmistakable.

"Hmm, what's that heart shaped bottle for?"

"It's a love potion." She turned to look at me with that mischievous smile.

"You seriously believe in that crap?"

"Kyon! Just because your tiny mind can't conceive such a thing as a love potion doesn't mean that there isn't such a thing…"

"Where did you get it? Don't tell me you made it."

"…in the universe that doesn't…" she was still talking from before. "I bought it from some magazine."

Love potions, like the kind you see in manga and anime, have never made sense to me for a number of reasons. Some scientist working in a dark lab toiling for years on something as astounding as a fluid that makes others attracted to you, so they can sell it in magazines to schoolgirls, has something wrong with it.

"Are you an idiot! I know this stuff doesn't work. I bought it just to have a look at it. How many do you think we could sell with Mikuru's picture plastered on the front in that bunny suit?"

Oh, I see. That's her angle. I however have a problem with this and it doesn't just start with Mikuru exploitation. I don't need Koizumi to tell me that if Haruhi's involved with this Love Potion, then it will become a REAL love potion. This does not bode well for me.

"What are you mumbling about? We'll need some sort of cute bottle to put it in and pictures of Koizumi so the girls will buy it. I suppose we could use nail polish bottles, but that might make people sick if they try it."

That's Surprisingly conscientious of you. Especially since you'll be selling them a sham with the likeness of a girl everyone would give their right arm to be with.

"I plan on repeat buyers! If they get sick it'll eat into our profits. I don't think this plan is doable yet."

She uncapped the bottle and held it close to her nose. "This stuff smells terrible. Kyon…"

I turned my head at the same time Haruhi thrust the bottle into my face causing it to bounce of the wall, roll down the length of my body, and fall into my open school bag.

"Idiot. I still want the bottle back even if it's empty."

Now if I could somehow lose that little bottle of hers maybe no one, namely me, will have to suffer because of this and she'll forget all about this plan.

Other than throwing it out the window I couldn't think of a way to lose the bottle so quickly. Plus, Haruhi had already fished it out herself when I hesitated.

A sharp acrid smell hit my nostrils. I was covered in the foul smelling stuff all along one side of my body where it had splashed.

"Kyon, what's that horrible smell?"

Kunikida said as we ate lunch. He was looking all around but couldn't quite pinpoint source of the odour.

"Oh, Haruhi had a bottle full of some crap and I accidentally spilled it on myself. I can't get the smell of it off my hands either."

I was ten minutes late to my first class after trying, in vain, to wash the smell off myself. I had to put my blazer in my locker and partially change into my gym clothes just so the smell wasn't overwhelming. Come to think of it, I hope my bento doesn't taste funny because of that stuff. It has a plastic container so nothing would seep in thankfully.

"Ahh, what a cute bento. Kyon did you make it? It smells so good!" a girl from our class suddenly commented from behind me. I turned to see Ami-san's gentle smile. We had been in the same class the past two years but I doubt I've said more than a sentence to her.

"I don't usually but my folks are out of town. I gave my sister most of the good stuff so this is what's leftover."

"That's so sweet. What a nice big brother." Smiling and slightly blushing she went to talk to her friends whom were watching us as we spoke.

"Just what's expected of an A rank."

Taniguchi chimed in at the exact moment she left. Ami was undoubtedly attractive, but not on the same level as Mikuru or even Haruhi for that matter.

"So do you have a rubric that you grade these girls by or is it more subjective?"

"First and most importantly is the…"

If Taniguchi applied even some of the energy he put into the ever more elaborate grading system for every and any woman he met than he could probably get more than half the questions right on tests.

"Oh you're right. His bento looks so good. Why can't mine turn out like that?"

Ami was back but accompanied by her two friends. I believe their names are Aiko and Ume…but I could be wrong.

"I bet he puts something special in them…"

"That's gross! He made one for his sister too….I don't think I would mind even if it was…"

Aiko hit Ume hard and covered her blushing face. "I meant LOVE! LOVE! Dammit! He put love in them!"

"What I was thinking of could be considered love too. I want someone to cook like that for me!"

"Kyon-kun, would you cook for us?"

"Idiot! You're supposed to offer to cook for him!"

"Are you kidding? We can't cook. We just have to um…compensate him for his cooking skills."

They suddenly scattered like cockroaches bolting for the darkness under the fridge when the lights come on. They kept smiling at me from across the room and watching us curiously. At least Aiko and Ami were, Ume's smile resembled Haruhi and should scarcely be considered a smile at all.

"Um… what was that all about?"

Kunikida stared at his bento and then at the girls now far across the room.

"Dammit Kyon! You better not be adding to you harem. You already have Haruhi, Nagato, and Mikiru. Don't be so greedy!"

There was an icy cold death like presence behind me that I could only imagine is either Haruhi or death itself. I guess those girls are pretty smart for running if it were either option.

Unexpectedly, a huge force appeared and started dragging me by my necktie, from behind no less, to the door leading to the roof. I suppose it must be Haruhi because there's no way death has this kind of physical strength.

"What are you doing?"

"I was eating and then I was choking and now I'm talking."

"Idiot! Those girls were definitely up to something. I have to do a make-out…I mean do a test I kissed…I can't come…to the brigade meeting after class. I…don't…want…to…see…you…talking…to…them…again."

Her façade cracked as her cheeks turned red and her eyes opened. The innocent look reminded me of that night in closed space the fraction of a second before I kisse…. Hmm.

She put a gentle hand on my tie and started to fix my collar but she was trembling ever so slightly.

"I…" And she was off careening down the stairs three at a time at breakneck speed. I didn't even think Haruhi could do innocent.

Okay, if one more weird incident happens I'm going home. There's no way this girl's weird behaviour and a love potion in the same story can be a coincidence.

The bell rang and I started running for class but Nagato appeared out of nowhere. Her eyes narrowed ever so slightly has they met mine and than, without a word, she turned and walked off in the opposite direction. What exactly was that expression she just gave me? I remembered back to all those times I'd enter the clubroom and she give me that blank stare, nod, and return to her reading, but there'd always seemed a warmth behind those eyes. The look she gave me just now seemed almost painful. Had I hurt her in some way? Maybe she saw Haruhi running full speed with her face a cascade of red and thought the worse, but that didn't seem like something that would affect my Nagato.

…However it was my cue to go home before closed space showed up or some other strangeness.

The first thing I did when I got home was wash my school bag as best I could and air out my notebooks. After that I gave myself an intensive scrubbing and blisteringly hot bath.

I couldn't smell the vile stuff on myself anymore but I had been wearing it all day so I could be just use to it. Taking a few days off from school might be a good idea just to be safe.

Wait…shouldn't I want this. What's not good about girls drooling over me and and ponytails? Haruhi's death glare suddenly flashed in my mind and I put a big X through my previous thoughts. There'd definitely be closed space if I tried anything with this. What's more, last time I got out of it with a kiss, how would I pull it off this time with this love potion all over me? If anything she'd want to be alone with me until the potion… wore…off.

NO! That option makes me nervous too.

My plan backfired I guess. I should have known she was planning something with that bottle or she would never have brought it to school. On the other hand, she didn't seem mad when I knocked it over, but I was probably the target from the beginning.

Wait, that doesn't make sense either. Why would Haruhi spill a potion on me that makes me more desirable to the opposite sex? Maybe she thought the potion would make me fall in love with her. In that case she should have used some on herself, but then it would be troublesome for her if every guy started making passes at her. It had to be an accident, but that doesn't make sense either. Why would she subconsciously make the potion real if she only planned on a money making venture in the first place unless she planned on toying with the stuff? Dammit, where is Koizumi when you need him.

"Kyon-kun?"

Mikuru's dainty figure peaked in through my door. The sight of the adorable senpai put my mind at ease has she trembled and blushed worrying about her intrusion.

"I hope I'm not intruding but your door was open. I made this for you since you aren't feeling well."

She placed an armful of food on the kitchen counter. Cooking from the goddess Mikuru!

"Naughty, naughty, Kyon-kun. You aren't sick at all are you?"

Tsuruya's face was suddenly directly in front of mine. Was she some sort of ninja?

"My fever came down since lunch time."

"You feel kind of cold."

Tsuruya gently touched the back of her hand to my forehead with that ever-present smirk. Unlike Haruhi, who's emotions are all over the place, I get the feeling the very building we are standing in could crash down around Tsuruya's ears and she'd come out laughing like the jolly upperclassmen she is.

"Maybe we should have a hot bath to warm you up. Wouldn't that be nice Kyon-kun? Oh dear you're face is getting all red. Mikuru could massage you too. Right Mikuru?"

"Squeak."

Why are easy decisions so difficult? Mikuru was blushing beet red with her mouth opening and closing. Come to think of it that time when Mikuru was kidnapped, Tsuruya sort of offered the same thing one night when future Mikuru was staying with her…

"I don't want you two to catch this cold by hanging out with me. It's bad enough that my sister going to end up with it."

"Are you sure you don't want us to stick around?" Tsuruya's smiled, she knew well enough I wouldn't bite.

"Thank you for the food I really appreciate it, but I think I'll be fine by myself."

"Well then I guess we better leave before Mikuru vibrates through the floor. We're available if you need us tonight Kyon-kun. Right Mikuru?"

"Squeak."

Turn off cell phone, unhook landline, sleep…Full Stop! Eat delicious Mikuru cooking then sleep.

It was perhaps six or seven in the night when I went to bed so I was thankful when the time to get up and make breakfast came around. Making bentos was unexpectedly fun since I could make them however I wanted, but they were like the Troposphere and Thermosphere compared to Mikuru's inhumanely good cooking.

"Kyon? What do I get in my bento today? You smell funny."

How long does this freaking stuff last?


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: The author of the fanfiction (babbler) does not, in any way, profit from the story and that all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator.

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**Why Me?**

Chapter 2: The Love Potion of Haruhi Suzumiya

I was up early making bentos; I wasn't planning on going to school but I figured I might as well make my lunch since I already had to make one for my sister. My sister, in between bouncing for joy, had noticed that I smelt strange (from the potion) which increased my desire to stay home. After this, I had collapsed on the couch and prepared myself to read one of those thick sci-fi books Nagato always reads.

I turned on the television to check the baseball scores but my favourite team was trounced causing me to cuss animatedly at the screen. It was now that my mother decided to enter. Her already short vacation had been cut even shorter so she ended up coming home a day earlier than planned. She was standing deathly still with a face contorted like a gargoyle. It was easy to tell that she had heard my little cursing spree. She booted me out the door despite my pleas of not feeling well or that it was much too early to leave for school.

I was sitting in class for nearly ten minutes before anyone else even showed up. A few people in clubs, that met early, were there but no one else. I wish I could have stayed home today but things conspired against me

Waiting to see the dentist was more enjoyable than my current situation. I don't mean to say I hate being the object of the girls' attention but I would be happier if it were certain girls; those girls being a stoic alien who says very little, unlike the pesky genki girl who always talks too much, and another who is very sweet and gentle, and again completely unlike the barbaric creature that barges in the clubroom after classes everyday.

It would be best if I didn't stay in the classroom since sooner or later those girls from yesterday, or any girls really, were going to show up and it could only mean trouble when Haruhi finally makes her entrance. If I could be alone until the bell rang, and then again during the break, the teachers could keep the girls in line the rest of the time during classes. The clubroom would be a good option.

This was a good plan I smiled to myself as I opened the door to our tiny clubroom.

"Oh…good morning Kyon-kun. You startled me."

Mikuru was quietly sitting inside reading her literature text.

"Why are you here so early?"

"I have a test first class and I can't study very well in the classroom. Why are you here?"

"Mom kind of…I was up early making bentos so I decided to come to school instead of waiting around at my house."

I took a seat opposite Mikuru and took out the thick book I had begun that morning. No wonder my school bag was so heavy with this brick in it all the way up the mountain.

Mikuru was blushing lightly and she was fidgeting with her hands, which made me a little worried since Haruhi would perceive things differently. That is to say if it were Mikuru in particular things would be amplified. If Mikuru had flirted with me yesterday in the manner that those girls had, though I can't imagine words like those coming from that sweet innocent lips, we would be in closed space by now. It would be best if I didn't worry about these things since worrying doesn't get me anywhere. I pushed thoughts of the love potion out of my mind and tried to concentrate on reading.

Before I knew it the bell had rung. It didn't seem like I had been reading very long.

Sensei didn't say anything when I arrive late since it was only homeroom but he did send a glare my way, "Don't think I didn't notice that you were late." Good teachers could reprimand without making it an issue in front of the whole class.

I felt the familiar poke of a mechanical pencil. What did she want?

"Why were you late?"

"I just woke up a little late." I had to lie, there's no way, love potion or not, that I could tell her that Mikuru and I were in the clubroom by ourselves for nearly an hour.

"You're red in the face. Just what were you doing?"

"I was late and I had to run to get here on time."

"If you say so."

Those words infuriated me. I don't know if it was the phrase "if you say so" or the smug face behind them but it made my blood boil. She didn't look happy though; the smug smile had fallen from her face the minute I turned around

Mercifully, the teacher chose that moment to begin his lesson before Haruhi had a chance to add anything extra. Haruhi was grumbling about something but refrained from poking me. After a few minutes of what I hope was French, she turned toward the window, closed her eyes, and went to sleep.

If I were to fall asleep the teacher would bring a swift brutal end to my dreams as he cracked me on the end with his hardcover textbook, but, he never seemed to notice Haruhi. No only did she sleep through first class, but the next two as well. Maybe word had gotten round in the staff room to not bother her when she's quiet. Truly, looking at her sleeping peacefully I can understand why all those guys fell for her.

Haruhi was still sleeping when the bell rang for lunch. I grabbed my bento and as secretively as possible, headed for the clubroom. There were a dozen eyes on me as I slid the classroom door over as quietly as possible lest I awake sleeping beauty's wrath. I must have stunk up the entire classroom after being in here so long and there would definitely be repercussions if I stuck around.

I felt like a mouse walking down the narrow corridor. I was jittery and couldn`t get the terrifying image of Haruhi baring down on me like a freight train out of my head. It was usually a comfort to walk into the clubroom and find Nagato reading, Mikuru serving tea, and Itsuki setting up a board game, but today I looked forward to utter silence. My nerves were shot.

The clubroom was empty but I couldn't eat comfortably. Every tiny creak, slammed door, and far away laugh made me jump out of my chair.

Suddenly, the clubroom door opened and Tsuruya`s boisterous laughter filled the room from rafters to floor.

"Oh, Kyon-kun. We were going to study in here since our test got pushed back to last period."

"Don`t mind me. I`m just going to finish my lunch and read like this morning."

"Hmm, "Tsuruya stroked her chin, "You were hoping it would be just be Mikuru-chan didn`t you."

The smile on Tsuruya's face didn`t quite make it to her eyes anymore. She reminded me of someone... This was the first time I`d ever seen Tsuruya lose her jollyness. Hmm, jollyness? Is that even a word?

"Tsuruya-chan, lets study! We only have this lunch break."

Mikuru wasn't smiling, through half closed eyes, she glared at her friend.

"Eep!" Tsuruya jumped as her eyes met Mikuru's. She then obediently sat to the table across from me and took out her book.

Mikuru began to hum softly, a sweet smile on her cherry lips, her mood changing in an instant. Tsuruya was leaning away from Mikuru and even holding her book up slightly to seemingly shield her face. Something was off and I bet it all harkens back to a certain stinky liquid in a pink bottle.

Tsuruya wasn't herself, and if only for a second, neither was Mikuru. We don't share a classroom, them being a year older, and they had just walked into the clubroom so what was causing this reaction? Neither Mikuru nor Tsuruya had come in contact with me yesterday until they brought me food last night.

The girls in class weren't running madly after me, and Haruhi though sitting directly behind me, hasn't done much of anything despite us being in the same classroom all day. So it would seem it is just exposure to the potion rather than the quantity of exposure that causes a reaction. Thankfully, more exposure doesn't seem to cause a stronger reaction. Who needs Itsuki. I can think!

"Kyon, could we speak to you for a second."

Itsuki had appeared directly beside me with his face way to close. After excusing myself from the girls company, we walked to the stairwell. Nagato was standing there waiting with a book clasped tightly in her small snow-white hands. I got the feeling Istuki had interrupted her reading.

"You certainly get yourself into interesting situations."

That's putting it lightly and what do you mean put "myself" in interesting situation.

"A foreign substance is being emitted from your body." Nagato cut straight to the chase.

"The particulate is composed of 50 percent water, alcohol, and an assortment of other common chemical compounds. It does not conform to the properties of any gaseous compounds currently present on this planet."

"I see." Did she dumb down the explanation for my sake?

"It would seem Suzumiya-san's subconscious is acting out her desires."

"I got covered by that stuff by accident."

"Yes, but the subtle ways Suzumiya-san's mind affects things takes into account that possibility. I believe she feels unfulfilled and truly want her life to resemble fictional romance. Is it any wonder that you're the target?"

"How do we fix it... and how do you know about it?"

"There were some rather amusing incidents yesterday after school. Suzumiya-san wrote her make-up test in fifteen minutes and showed up flustered looking for you. Even Nagato-san was affected."

Nagato was staring off into the distance and but I couldn't help but notice her glance in my direction, if only for a fraction of a second, when her name was mentioned.

"Love affects people differently and this potion is amplifying these actions. One person may happily flirt with the person they desire, a second person may simply blush and be unable to speak, and a third's reaction could be jealously towards those she thinks are threats."

"This compound affects brain chemistry and thought processes so there is a chance of a chain reaction from exposure."

"If this were dragged out much longer it could lead to serious trouble if things were to become a n-sided love triangle. Person (A) has a crush on you (K), person (T) has a crush on A, and will also affected once they come into contact with you. There's no telling how person T may react, or even person A for that matter."

What's with the algebra all of a sudden? Wait, triangles can only have three sides, hence "tri", how can it have an unlimited number of sides?

"Simply curing you won't do. We need to cure everyone that has come in contact with you...but leave that to us. You need to convince Suzumiya-san that what has happened wasn't caused by the love potion."

"How the hell do I do that?"

"You could always do what you did to get out of closed space. I'm sure she wouldn't be thinking of much else after that."

That bastard and his glowing obnoxious smile.

"I'll leave it in your capable hands."

Before leaving, Nagato handed me a small vial containing five small pills and a small piece of paper.

Heading back to the clubroom I opened the neatly folded high quality printer paper.

"Please take one (1) tablet with water Daily. Taking morE than one tAblet within Twenty-four Hours (24) will cause the following: headache, itchy skin, and DEATH."

The emphasis was hers. I felt hot all of a sudden and decided to go up to the room for some fresh air.

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Reviews are greatly appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: The author of the fanfiction (babbler) does not, in any way, profit from the story and that all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator.

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**Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?**

Chapter 3: The Love Potion of Haruhi Suzumiya

Itsuki had given me quite a challenge. How the hell was I supposed to convince Haruhi that the love potion didn't work when girls, whom I have never spoken to, had started flirting with me out of the blue?

I had contemplated this while staring out the window but it was useless since it felt lasers were burning into the side of my face. Tsuruya was staring at me and the heat, or something, coming from her eyes could melt glass.

"Kyon-kun better not have designs on _my_ Mikuru."

"Why are you suddenly so hostile."

She squinted her eyes slightly. "Maybe if you turned that gaze you look at Mikuru with on Haruhi. Who's to say what might happen? What baseball team do you cheer for?"

Tsuruya's bubbly demeanour returned instantly as she asked a random question. Maybe she felt she was getting through to me.

"The Tigers..."

"Lets say you are on the Tigers and Mikuru is on the Giants. Your two teams can be friendly towards each other, but there will never be the same chemistry as two players on the same squad."

Are you channelling Itsuki now?

"I don't always have to be giggly and bouncy. I'm glad we could have this chat! Good bye Kyon-kun."

Tsuruya bounced out the door and it was only then that I realized that Mikuru had already left. It felt like forever since I've seen her in her maid costume, although, it had only been a couple of days.

Why was Tsuruya being so cryptic? Tsuruya had given me something else to ponder so I walked back to the classroom mulling it over. Why can't someone just come out and tell me things exactly how they are. Itsuki, won't stop talking and half the time it's a info dump and the other half it's veiled info dump. On the other hand, am I so stupid that I can't figure this out?

Mikuru and I on separate teams. Mikuru is on another team. Mikuru has more chemistry with her own team. If you had good chemistry with your team it would be fielding but batting too I suppose. Soccer or basketball would be a better fit for talking about chemistry. Baseball has chemistry between players too but it's different from baseball. If you were batting and there was a runner on first you could try and get him over to second, that would be obvious, but is that the same kind of chemistry as team oriented sports? Batting can be...batting...Mikuru bats for the other team!

How could that be possible when the loveable sempai had asked me to take her if Haruhi ruined her for marriage? There's no way she bats for the other team.

My classmates were beginning to chatter amongst themselves. Class should have started by now. Everyone was sitting in their seats and I'm sure the bell rang a while ago so where was the teacher?

"Haruhi...Blah!"

Haruhi was leaning over her desk with eyes wide open staring at me mere centimetres from my face.

"Why are you so close?"

"How else am I suppose to here what you're mumbling? If you have something to say than say it!"

She was in full Haruhi mode now as she sat there with arms folded and staring directly into my eyes. I'm surprised she didn't grab my tie and yell directly into my face, but something was off. It wasn't full Haruhi mode after all. Her pale face was turning dark pink with blush and her mouth wasn't twisted into the typical sneer, but was slightly open. Wait, is she wearing lip-gloss? Haruhi never wore lip-gloss.

"Where's the teacher?"

"How should I know?"

"Oh that's right. You were asleep all morning so you couldn't possibly know."

"I was just resting my eyes. These classes are so boring."

Our homeroom teacher appeared in the doorway. "Everyone can I have your attention. Your math teacher had to step away and we couldn't get a substitute on such short notice so you have a free period. The teacher next door is going to keep an eye on you and I'll be just up the hall in my office so keep the noise down."

The class murmured with excitement as everyone began talking at once. Some girls nearby were smiling and looking my way but they kept their distance since they didn't want to be mauled by Haruhi. This potion didn't seem that bad other than a few blushing girls.

I suppose if I were Ituski I would contemplate how these two opposing fractions balance each other out while still remaining undesirable to the target. That's probably not philosophical enough for that smiling bastard.

Perhaps he'd consider what makes something real. Is Haruhi's power altering reality itself or just our minds and does it really matter which? We use our brains to interpret stimuli from our senses so anything interfering with our brain's ability to do so will change reality. If Haruhi were to decide that she wanted an earthquake right now, and she manipulated the senses of everyone in the city so that it felt like the ground was shaking, it would be the same effect as causing the actual earthquake. Doing either would still make her unbelievably powerful. "Anyone who can handle a needle convincingly can make us see a thread which is not there."

Dammit, I remember that quote perfectly from the couple of pages I read in Nagato's book but I still managed to write down run over rise on my math test when we had taken two weeks to do that section.

"Where were you lunch time? We wanted to eat with you."

Ami had appeared by my desk at some point during my philosophizing. She smiled sweetly and leaned against the desk opposite my own.

"Do you always make lunch for your little sister? I'm always late so I'd never have time to make my own bento."

"I do most of the time." I lied. I can't remember the last time I made one before this week.

"Kyon! Where were you lunch time?"

Aiko slapped me on the shoulder, her grin suspiciously similar to Haruhi's when she has a plan. Ume was sitting on the desk across from me without a saying a word. Wasn't she the lively one out of the trio?

"...I had to talk to our homeroom teacher about my grades."

Phew! I came up with that one fast.

"What! Kyon if your grades slipped again there will be punishment! We can't have someone representing the SOS Club with grades at Taniguchi's level!"

Haruhi pushed her way between the three girls.

"Hey!" Taniguchi's protest was lost on death ears if he though Haruhi would care.

"No, my grades are still fine."

"I don't think he had a meeting with the teacher at all. My sources say he had a rendezvous with a certain cute sempai all by their lonesome in your clubroom."

Oh crap.

"What were you doing unauthorized in our clubroom?"

Haruhi shook my desk violently. Since when did we need authorization to use the clubroom...and wouldn't I need Nagato's since Haruhi isn't a recognized club president?

"Can't you see he's not interested in a weird loud mouth like you."

Haruhi looked at Ume without saying a word.

"Ume!"

Ami tried to put her hand over Ume's mouth but she pushed her away.

"Eh? Why don't we have a little contest? First pin wins."

Haruhi, without signalling a start to the contest, gripped Ume's elbow and collar and tried to move her right leg behind her opponent's to sweep her onto the floor. Ume, yanked Haruhi down and forward with her hair, before she had time to trip, and brought her knee up into Haruhi's exposed ribs. Haruhi fell to the floor gasping, drool dripping from her mouth as she struggled for air.

"What's wrong bitch? Finally find someone who'll stand up to your nonsense? Why don't you go back to your seat and shut the f&^$ up!"

Haruhi got up slowly and walked back to her desk. Her face was totally blank as she picked up her book bag and walked slowly to the door without looking back.

"Stop picking fights!"

Ume was crouching in front of Ami repeating, "I'm sorry" over and over again as Ami pulled on her hair.

"She's a bully," Ume whimpered.

"YOU picked the fight! You know she's a few pawns short of a shogi set. Why would you provoke her?"

If one were to wonder why I had not responded to this development it would because I was stunned. Haruhi responded in typical Haruhi fashion and yet she loss. The room was totally silent, save Ume crying softly, and all eyes were turned toward me. Was I supposed to do something in the fraction of a second between Haruhi grabbing Ume and her getting clocked?

"Lets go catch her before she leaves." Ami dragged Ume out of the classroom by the poor girl's hair.

"Must be nice you lucky son of a gun you even have them fighting over you."

Tanguichi took the empty seat in front of me and swivelled around.

"Are you crazy! This is Haruhi we're talking about. There's going to be hell to pay for this!"

"You got it all wrong. Just go to her house and comfort her, you'll trigger a flag for sure. Sit on her bed and smooth her hair and say something sappy like, 'Next time I protect you!' and she'll say..."

I'd probably get my arm gnawed off if I tried to sit on her bed and smooth her hair or worse she'll try out fighting moves so she'll be ready next time. Worse still, she could recreate the world.

"..."

"Indeed that is a bad development."

Itsuki stared hard had the shogi board he was in the process of setting up. The clubroom seemed peaceful compared to the negative enegery that lingered in the classroom.

"Is Suzumiya-san okay?"

Mikuru asked holding her seving tray tightly to her chest.

"I think the best thing for you to do would be go over to her house and talk to her. We need to get this business of the love potion out of the way."

"Maybe we all should go?"

"Love potion?"

Mikuru said, sitting down beside us.

"You need to go alone because that is what she is expecting. If closed space were to occur you would be alone with her anyway, so why not have the talk now while you have back-up."

"Love potion?"

"We're hoping your talk with Suzumiya-san will greatly lessen the personality affects so Nagato won't have to perform neurosurgery."

"You don't trust Nagato?"

"I trust her completely, but she would need to recreate memories for these people which involves some judgement of what actions were affected by the potion. Did the potion cause someone to propose to a person they like or pick a fight? It difficult to tell, so for ethical reasons, I'd like you to speak to Haruhi first and help us out on that end before Nagato does anything."

Lucky me.

* * *

All reviews greatly appreciated.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: The author of the fanfiction (babbler) does not, in any way, profit from the story and that all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator.

I think I might have been channelling a bit of Ryuji and Taiga rather than Kyon and Haruhi in parts, but I don't think it gets too out of hand. I hope it isn't too angsty. Anyway, tell me what you think I appreciate the feedback.

* * *

**Chums?**

Chapter 4: The Love Potion of Haruhi Suzumiya

It was nearly dark as I biked my away across town to Haruhi's apartment building. Luckily, it was much cooler than it was a few hours earlier or this would truly be a trip into hell. I wonder if Haruhi and her parents are alike? Now there was an awful though; it nearly caused me to crash into a parked car. Haruhi had to get her personality traits from somewhere, which could mean one hell of an evening.

What's more, Haruhi is probably hurt. There is no way she would ever admit it but the way she walked out of the classroom holding her ribs said otherwise. How exactly is it that a god, in her own realm, got hurt? Itsuki had answered my question earlier.

*---*

All the other club members had left, even Nagato. I had lingered pretending I was reading a book while trying to figure out how to handle Haruhi.

"Haruhi trusts you so why are you so worried?" Itsuki said, having remained behind.

"I was stunned when she lost that fight. What the hell was she even fighting for?"

Itsuki's eyes opened slightly and his stupid smile turned into a bemused one. "Haruhi is a realistic girl even if she doesn't always appear to be. She's perplexed, you might say, as to why girls are suddenly noticing you. She wants to think that the love potion is causing it, but it's being ultimately trumped by her realistic side telling her that the girls are interested in YOU and it's nothing to do with the potion."

Itsuki was making me mad. He understood what was going on and yet still left me in the dark to figure it out on my own.

"So if I convinced Haruhi the love potion was fake, it might have gotten worse, and you didn't tell me."

"It was a no win situation, but, with you being who you are, I figured you would come up with a perfectly fine solution. Things just conspired against you."

"So, how...why did Haruhi lose the fight?"

"Have you ever had a dream where you didn't get what you wanted?"

Where did that question come from? He stared at me, patiently waiting for a reply. When I lost the soccer match to Itsuki`s class I had a dream where I was kicking a football but could never reach the opposing net. No matter how far or hard I ran I could not get there. We had lost that match, it was no wonder my dreams reflected it when I had wanted to beat Itsuki so badly.

"Dreams take place in our own minds, yet, only on rare occasion can we control them. When something is bothering us our dreams often reflect these feelings. Dream interpretation is a psuedo science, but how can anyone deny that our everyday experiences affect our dreams? For Haruhi, her moods and attitudes affect reality itself and she can't consciously control that power. You wanted to win and yet lost a football game in your own mind. Haruhi, likewise, wanted to win and loss a fight in a reality she subconsciously controls."

"So her subconscious and conscious were working against each other?"

"It's more likely she consciously felt she couldn't win."

Wait a minute...did I say my dream out loud?

*---*

Haruhi's apartment complex loomed in the distance. It was brilliantly lit up against the dark buildings around it. On the sixth floor, one apartment's windows were completely dark. Maybe she wasn't home, or sitting in the darkness all by herself.

I parked my bike and walked over to the brightly illuminated front entrance. I pushed the intercom button for 609 and it started to ring. This apartment was quite far from my own home and much further than Nagato's, which is probably why we never come here. I wonder where Mikuru lives? Just out of curiosity of course and not for any perverted reasons.

Nobody was answering the intercom so I tried Haruhi's number and again there was no answer. I came all the way over here and she's too busy brooding in the dark to answer her damn phone!

It would take almost a half hour to ride all the way home again. I suppose I should have tried calling before I left.

An elderly gentleman opened the door and nodded to myself. The door was closing slowing and I dove to catch it before it completely shut. He gave me an odd look but just kept on walking.

I raced up the six flights of stairs and stopped in front of her door and listened intently but there were no sounds emanating from inside. I knocked as loudly as I could.

"Oh, it's you. What do you want?" She opened the door a small crack and peered out.

"You weren't answering your phone so I brought your homework over."

"You came all the way over here for that?"

"Of course not. Are you okay? You left without saying anything." I shouldn't have said anything about her homework.

"I guess you can come in." She unhooked the chain holding it shut.

I hesitantly walked into the pitch-black apartment feeling like a mouse. Haruhi was slithering around somewhere and I couldn't see her. Thankfully, before I could get more paranoid, she flicked on a few lights.

"I'll be back in a second." She walked down the hall and into what must be her room.

Her hair was a mess, her uniform was wrinkled, and her eyes looked red. There were a bunch of pillows and sheets piled on the floor next to her kotatsu. Haruhi had made some sort of nest. There was something fundamentally unsettling about energetic Haruhi curled up in that nest in the dark and crying her eyes out.

I sat down to the kotatsu and took out Haruhi homework. One would think I had lied before, but I had indeed brought it so that I'd at least have a plausible excuse to talk to her.

Haruhi appeared again wearing a short black skirt and t-shirt. She glared at me with her hands on her hips for a few seconds and finally sat down to the kotatsu.

"You better not be thinking of trying anything funny."

You say that after you let me in the apartment?

"Where are your parents?"

"Dad's always gone on business and my mother doesn't come home until late..." She glared at me again.

"Are you okay?"

"No! Are you stupid? My ribs hurt like crazy and it hurts to breath."

"You should have gone to the hospital if you're in that much pain."

"I was going to but I don't think they do anything for broken ribs anyway so what's the point." She had one arm tightly wrapped around her chest at all times. Now up close I could see that sweat was running down the side of her face and she was pale looking. I leaned over to touch her forehead with the back of my hand.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Seeing if you have a fever. Now stop moving around and stay still." Her forehead was damp but not overly hot. I would have made her go to the hospital if it were.

"Have you had anything to eat?"

"No. My stomach finally stopped churning a little bit ago."

"Do you want me to make you something?"

"No." She gave me a quizzical look, but her stomach growled at the mention of food belying her rejection.

"If you put anything in it I will kill you."

"Not if I put the right things in it you won't."

She looked at me with wide eyes and for the first time in her life was at a loss for what to say. "I don't thi...ha ha." She grasped her ribs tightly with both arms and tried to suppress her laughter. Tears were streaming down her face.

Haruhi's kitchen, in stark contrast to my own, seemed ill stocked. It was quite obvious that the Suzumiya's did not eat here often. After poking around I found some chicken legs, curry, carrots, onions, and chicken stock. The chicken legs seemed to have been bought recently but the carrots worried me.

After more poking around I managed to find some rice and other minor ingredients. I guess it will have to be chicken curry.

I was chopping the chicken into little chunks when I noticed Haruhi a bottle of rum in her hand. She downed a drink in one gulp and then poured herself another. After noticing me eyeing her, she poured me a glass and put it beside the cutting board.

"Haruhi..."

"Shut up and cook."

I was frying the onion and vegetables when it dawned on me. Haruhi didn't seem to be affected by the potion. She wasn't blushing and she wasn't awkward. However, she wasn't feeling very well so maybe that was overriding things. Sometimes my luck works out...being stabbed in a hospital type of luck, but luck none the less.

After an hour of chopping, frying, and boiling the curry was finally finished. It would have taken longer because of the rotten vegetables but Haruhi had found some fresh onions and carrots where I hadn't looked.

I brought in the curry and placed it in front of Haruhi on the kotatsu. She was laying face down in a pillow with a glass of rum clenched tightly in one hand.

"Does it hurt?"

She looked up and nearly killed me with the death like glare. She finished her drink and threw the pillow to one side and started digging into the food.

"This is great. I usually order takeout or get something already cooked from the supermarket down the road." A smile had finally returned to her face and she finally looked like Haruhi again.

I hesitantly took a taste of the rum and nearly died. I had to force myself to swallow it as tears rolled down my cheeks.

"Ha ha ow ha ow." Tears were running down her face has she tried her hardest not to laugh.

"You drank this stuff when we went to that island Itsuki's friend owns."

"Yeah, but it was mixed."

"You big baby. How do you expect to become a man if you can't drink rum straight?"

Why was she drinking it straight? The paleness had completely left her prett...fair face and she was blushing either from the alcohol or the potion; probably a bit of both.

Haruhi was playing with something. I hadn't noticed it before but she'd occasionally look down and fiddle with something in her lap. Noticing me watching her, she turned on the television, and stomped off into the hall.

"Kyon...come here."

I wandered into the hall. On one side was her parent's room and on the other were the bathroom, and presumably, her room. Light was coming out from her nearly closed door so hesitantly opened it.

Her room was strewn with manga and light novels to the point where barely any floor could be seen. Otherwise, her room was immaculately clean. Her bed was perfectly made and her clothes were all neatly folded.

She was standing with her back to me watching with an eagle like eye. "Pin this for me."

She was holding an ice pack to her ribs and trying to pin an elastic bandage with her other hand. I pulled up the back of her shirt and I could see her cheeks burning red in mirror in front of us. She had her eyes closed and the slightest touch would maker her back arch. I...accidentally dropped one side of the bandage and gently touched the small of her back. From that little touch, there was a sharp intake of air and she moved to her Tipp toes. She was slightly shaking has she walked out of the room.

She had been self consciously making sure to cover her bra the whole time. It was hard to believe this was the same girl who would change in front of a group of boys like it was nothing only a short while ago. How much of this was caused by the potion?

My phone started to ring and I raced back to the kotatsu and grabbed it.

"Kyon-chan?" Ami's sweet voiced filled the receiver like honey.

"Yes?"

"I texted you earlier. You must not have gotten it. I was hoping you'd come out with us...but I guess it's too late now. Some other time then?"

"Okay."

I put down the phone and surprisingly Haruhi wasn't glaring at me but watching some comedy show. She was distracted so I hurriedly checked my mail.

"We're (Ami, Aiko, and Ume) are going out tonight. It would be much more fun if you came with us! Call me ; )"

How did my phone end up out here on the kotatsu when it was in my pocket?

My watch beeped signalling 11:00. 11:00! My mother was going to kill me (not so much for being late but for homework reasons). Why did I wait so long before riding over here?

"I have to go."

Haruhi followed me to the door and as I put on my shoes she came a little closer. I swear I felt her hand on my back but when I turned she was just leaning against the wall. She took a couple more steps forward, with her face lowered, but just stood there not moving. I opened the door and walked out.

"Bye." I turned and waved as I walked out into the dimly lit hallway.

She smiled and waved back. She was only partially illuminated, straddling the line between light and dark. When had she turned off the lights in her apartment again?

I didn't hear Haruhi close the door as I walked down the stairs. As I rode home I had the weirdest sensation that she was still there leaning against the doorway staring blankly off into space.

She had smiled so that bodes well...doesn't it?

* * *

*If you couldn't tell this isn't the end and another chapter will be up around this time next week.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: The author of the fanfiction (babbler) does not, in any way, profit from the story and that all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator.

I finished this chapter a few days ago but I wasn't happy with it and rewrote it. I hope you enjoy. Feedback is greatly appreciated.

* * *

**When a Teenager is God, God is a Teenager**

Chapter 5: The Love Potion of Haruhi Suzumiya

After coming back from Haruhi's, I immediately went to bed. I couldn't get to sleep, despite my being tired, because I kept thinking of Haruhi still standing in that doorway. When I left she seemed to be in a far better mood than when I got there, so there shouldn't be any problems. Despite my rationalizations, something still felt wrong.

Itsuki would call, or something, if closed space started to form wouldn't he? There was nothing left but to try and push this out of my head and wait and see what happened in the morning.

*---*

It was still dark outside when I opened my eyes. Staring up at my ceiling in the darkness, it felt as though I was forgetting something. Like there was something I had to desperately attend to but couldn't for the life of me remember what. It reminded me of a few weeks ago when I had a weird nagging feeling in the back of my head throughout the long walk to school. It turned out I had left my bento lounging on the counter at my house leaving me nothing for lunch. Maybe it was a feeling leftover from my dreams that I can't remember...That must be it.

The form beside me rolled over and put her arm around me. Her hair smelled like flowery shampoo and the feel of her warm body against mine made me a sleepy again. It's been forever since my sister came into my bed, but this definitely wasn't my sister.

"I better go before your Mom finds me here."

Ryoko Asakura! There was a fluttery feeling in my chest and the blood ran from my face.

"Did I wake you? I'm sorry I thought you were awake." She leaned in and kissed me and then rolled out of bed.

My heart settled back to its original rhythm. For a few seconds my body reacted like there was a bear within clobbering range. I still felt twitchy and ready to make a dash for safety. I'm sure Asakura wouldn't like me comparing her to a bear but why did I react that way? It must be a defensive instinct for some reason. If I were to wake up and find a shoe next to me as I slept I wouldn't have that reaction.

Asakura knelt on my bed and kissed me again. This time it was longer and I could almost hear her inner thoughts in intense debate, but she pushed away from me.

"Better not get too into it or I won't want to leave. See you later...well in a few hours anyway. Bye." She hopped out the window.

I quickly pulled myself out of bed and watched her scamper off. There's a stone fence around the house and just below my window there was a small ledge, just big enough to stand on, which made my room quite accessible.

Asakura ran off toward her apartment building at full speed. It must be nice to be that energetic in the morning...or she was scared of muggers. Dammit! I should have walked her home!

I wandered back to my bed and snuggled into my pillow once again.

*---*

I walked into the steam bath of a classroom. Everyone looked worn out and sweaty except for Asakura, who seemed none the worse for wear.

"When you look around the class what do you see?" I asked Asakura as I sat in my seat. Lucky for us, we were seated in the back closest to the window.

"I don't know what you're getting at?"

"Taniguchi's sweating through his jacket, Ami looks uncharacteristically disheveled, and that girl over there is already in her gym clothes, so why are you so fresh looking? Are you some sort of alien that doesn't sweat?"

"You just keep me in such great shape I don't get sweaty like them when I...Oh shoot! I have to talk to the teacher before the bell." She ran off at full speed.

"How come guys like you get the girl when at best you're a C+ and she's an AA+. And she helps you with your homework. All I got is Kunikida you jerk!" Taniguchi said as he sat on my desk.

"This again." Every morning we seem to have this conversation. Did he just say I was a C+? I don't want to consider those repercussions lest they haunt my dreams.

"Kyon always had a preference for weird girls...or at least he did in junior high. They aren't the type of girl to be class rep," Kunikida chimed in, seeming to appear out of nowhere.

"If I see you hanging around with Asahina-san, then it's war!"

"Everyone back to your seats..." the homeroom teacher walked into the room.

"It's war!" Taniguchi mouthed the words again as he walked back to his seat.

This was going to be another boring day. I was already fidgeting in my seat trying to find something to occupy my time. This chemistry is so boring and I'm never going to need it. I'm not going to be a chemist, but I guess I have to keep my options open.

There was a sudden sharp prick of a mechanical pencil into my back. I turned to see what the troublemaker behind me wanted.

"Asakura?" I said in a low whisper. I was expecting someone else, but who that was I had no idea. It was like putting your pencil down and then not finding it a second later. Asakura had sat behind me all year and yet for a brief second I expected someone else to be there.

"If you don't take proper notes I'm not helping you," she pouted, at least I think that was the expression she was going for.

I turned to dutifully take notes instead of wandering the inside of my skull. This is like a perfect prison. I don't know when's she's watching me so I have to pay attention constantly to this boring lecture!

Asakura prodded me again...crap.

*----*

Today turned out to be one of the longest of my life. Between Asakura's prodding and the teacher's droning, it was a battle of endurance that I doubt even...who's someone famous with a tonne of endurance?

"Kyon, did you tell your mom you were eating at my place?"

"Yeah."

"...did she mention anything else?" Asakura looked up at me wide eyed through her hair; trying to feign innocence. I was wondering where Imouto-chan learned that look or is it just genetically predisposed in girls.

"She grumbled a bit." She didn't appear to be happy with that answer.

"How come she doesn't like me?"

"She likes you. She just doesn't like you in my bed at 2:00am."

"Hmm...We have to go to the literature clubroom first." She began dragging me by the hand toward the clubrooms.

The building was packed as we made our way down the hall. We turned quite a few heads as we passed the other classrooms in our wing. I think some of the younger guys have a fan club for Asakura...which would explain the looks of instant death I was getting. I wonder if the Asahina's fan boys and Asakura's fan boys ever brawl. On second thought, they're probably too busy writing disturbing fanfiction to organize a beat down.

Asakura suddenly stopped. Tsuruya-san, with Asahina-sempai in tow, was headed in our direction. Asahina had her eyes closed and seemed to be squealing as she was pulled along at full speed.

Tsuruya-san inexplicitly stopped as she was about to pass us and began to laugh. That loud carefree good-natured laugh it drowned out all other noise around us.

"Tsuruya-sempai?" Asakura asked. I couldn't see her expression.

"You two look so cute together." She leaned in close to Asakura. "There's a old shed out back with a rusty lock if you two love birds need to be alone."

Asahina-sempai eyes caught my eye. She was looking straight at me and seemed to be thinking hard. After a few seconds under her intense gaze, she shook her head and began struggling to be free of Tsuruya's grasp.

Asakura and Tsuruya were whispering about something and smiling evilly. Tsuruya than waved and ran off

"This isn't what it looks like!" Tsuruya yelled after taking a few steps. What exactly did she think it looked like? Deja vu hit me again like a 10-ton truck. I've done this before, or at least, someone has pulled me like this before and I've definitely had the urge to yell, "It isn't what it looks like!"

Asakura knocked a couple of times on the literature clubroom door and then barged in anyway without waiting for a reply. Inside the sparsely furnished room was a bookcase filled with thick books with foreign names and a small purple haired girl with round glasses.

"Are you ready Nagato?"

She nodded and picked up her bag. Without saying a word she walked out the door. I couldn't help but notice her stiff movements as she reached in her bag for the keys and locked the door. It was as if she came up with a half dozen scenarios for the movement and picked the most efficient one, which made her look stiff somehow.

"Nagato? What would you like me to cook?" Asakura put her arm around Nagato's unresisting shoulders as we began walking.

"I am perfectly capable of tending to my own nutritional needs." Her eyes darted over to me for a brief moment.

Asakura had mentioned Nagato often, but this was the first time I'd met her. Taniguchi had a theory why the most attractive girls in school were close friends. It went something like: if two girls, with few flaws, bond their weaknesses balance each other out and they form a stable friendships. If they were massively dissimilar it would take a third girl to form a stable bond. It actually sounded much like an odd version of ionic bonding... that he had pieced together from a lecture he half slept through.

"Kyon," Asakura whined, "Nagato is being mean. She said my cooking was crap!"

"I stated that her cooking went beyond what was needed for nutritional needs. I did not mean to hurt her feelings." Nagato was blushing slightly.

"Nagato, who else is in the literature club?"

Her eyes darted to me and then back to the road ahead. The blush grew a little deeper. "Just myself. The student council decided that I could use the room when no other clubs had wanted it."

"Why don't you go to the library? At least there'd be other people around." It felt like I knew her intimately, though, it could be because of her quiet meek attitude put me at ease.

"Reading is not a social activity."

"Don't you get lonely stooped up in the clubroom all by yourself?" I couldn't help but ask even though I felt like an insensitive jerk for making her answer. She must get this all the time and now a stranger's giving her the fifth degree on her walk home, although, she seems oddly at ease with me.

"Being alone and lonely are two different things. When Asakura is alone she is lonely. I am not."

"Nagato..." Asakura glared at her friend.

"Again, you have taken my words as offensive when I was stating what I have observed to be true. It is not that I do not like your company."

The time had passed quickly coming from school compared to my solitary walks home. We were already at the girls' apartment building.

To my surprise, Asakura had chosen to cook in Nagato's apartment rather than her own. Perhaps it was too make Nagato feel more at ease with company, or maybe it was to corner Nagato into having supper with us since she'd have no where else to go.

Nagato walked into her room and closed the door. Before even a second had gone by, Asakura had hugged me tightly.

"That's the most I've heard her speak to anyone. I'm glad you two get along."

She went into the kitchen and I sat down to her kotatsu. It was then I noticed that the entire apartment was empty. No pictures adorned her walls and she didn't have a television her furniture of any kind. A small heap of books and a pillow lay in the corner but the apartment must be the same as when she first moved in. Hmm, both these girls have their own apartments to go to North High? North High wasn't prestigious and it didn't have specialty programs, so why spend all this money on an apartment to go to such an utterly normal commonplace school.

Before I could finish that thought, Nagato returned and sat down to the kotatsu across from me. I had been here before. It wasn't just deja vu this time but a mental image of us sitting like this.

"This might take a little while. I'll bring tea in a second," Asakura yelled from the kitchen.

"What's wrong?"

"I think I've been here before, but that isn't possible. Maybe I'm going crazy."

"I as well feel we have been in this situation before. It was dark outside and I was seated across from you."

So, how do you respond when someone shares your deja vu?

"Some speculate that past lovers know each other immediately upon meeting because they sense their past lives together, however, my memory of us here together is of the very recent past." Maybe some romance was mixed in with all the science fiction she reads.

"Ahh! You look so cute. Is that blush for Kyon?" Asakura took Nagato's chin in her hand and kissed her on the nose. "I feel like I'm cheating on you." She poked out her tongue at me and walked back into the kitchen.

Asakura came skipping back into the room almost immediately. "I forgot to bring out the tea." She placed a cup in front of Nagato and me.

"It'll be a while before things boil..." In her right hand she was playing with a large knife that she must have forgotten she was holding when she brought out the tea. I could hear my heart beating in my head like a drum. I couldn't take my eyes off that knife. I tried picking up my cup but my hand was shaking too much; there was just something about that knife that made my skin crawl.

The sun was setting outside, basking the room in an orange red glow. It suddenly felt like I was back in the classroom that day Asakura had called me there for something. Why were we there that late? The knife flew past me in a blur and I jumped back.

I turned over as quick as I could and...found two bewildered girls staring at me.

"Kyon, what's wrong." Asakura reached for me and I jumped again. It felt like my body was reacting on its own.

"Perhaps we should call the hospital."

"I'm okay. I'm okay really." I tried smiling. Trembles go away! I'm trying to act fine.

"Okay, but if that happens again I'm taking you to the hospital."

Was Asakura the one making me tremble? Something told me this was going to be a long night.

* * *

For anybody that is confused after reading this, it'll start making sense the next chapter.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: The author of the fanfiction (babbler) does not, in any way, profit from the story and that all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator.

**Familiar Strange Things**

Chapter 6: The Love Potion of Haruhi Suzumiya

It was a half past six when I awoke. My tiny bed seemed so cold and lonely without Asakura by my side. I had been dreaming all night but now I could only remember fragments of what a few seconds ago was so real.

I remembered one image clearly. It was of three others and myself sitting around a table in a clubroom; it resembled Nagato's but much more cluttered with furniture. A strange girl, who I felt apprehensive about, sat at the head of table. Smiling with that cat like smile, ready to make trouble for everyone. A guy with an ever-present grin, which I've never met before, sat across from me, and in the corner sat Nagato quietly reading a book.

There were clearly two people in this dream that I have never seen before. I can't remember my other dreams well enough to know if complete strangers have ever appeared in my dreams. Sometimes schoolmates that I often see in the hallways, but don't otherwise know, appear and actors from television as well, but never people I don't recognize. I always wanted some kind of mystery, something out of the ordinary not that my life is boring, but something to add flavour to it. Now, this was dumped in my lap.

Maybe if I talk to Nagato more things will become clearer. I jumped out of bed and dressed since I wasn't going to get any more sleep at this point.

My mother had already gone for work by the time I had finished breakfast and put away my math notes; Asakura's been forcing me to review. I made sure Imouto-chan was ready for school and then departed for my trip up the Matterhorn.

Halfway up the steep incline leading to school I felt a heavy arm placed on my shoulders. I had smelt him even before I saw him. That headachy strong scent with strong alcohol undertone had sent a clear message that Taniguchi was near.

"You smell like the chem lab."

"No way. Girls like this clean natural scent. It makes their knees go all mushy when a hot guy with this cologne woos them."

"Passing out from the smell and being wooed are two different things."

"Shaddup!" He was quiet for a second, "I saw you walking with Nagato yesterday."

"So what? Asakura and Nagato are close." Is he stalking me now?

"You think you could set me up on a date with her?" He looked away from me with a heavy blush on his face. Hmm, Mr. Womanizer needs my help?

"It won't work. If you ran on alternating current and had a lot of RAM it might but otherwise I can't see it happening." I have a feeling Asakura would be watching the date through a high power scope attached to an equally high-powered rifle.

"Oh, come on! Who would have guessed a year ago that you and Asakura would have lasted this long?" He was right, but I wasn't about to tell him that.

Ahead of us, as we approached the school gate, Asakura was leaning against the school gate with a crowd of her peers surrounding her. She seemed to attract people like flies to honey. When she saw me approach she simply walked through the group as though it wasn't there.

"I hope you aren't bullying Kyon." She smiled happily at Taniguchi. He grumbled something and walked away with his hands thrust into his pockets.

"He wants me to set him up with Nagato."

"That won't be happening," she said without a trace of that familiar smile. I involuntarily shivered; was this a glimpse behind that immaculately kept mask?

"Have you been reviewing math?" She quickly changed topics as we walked into the school building, the smile creeping back onto her face.

"Yes..." A small pink envelope fell out of my shoe locker, its sweet fragrance drafting past my nose has it fell. Asakura wasn't looking so I hurriedly stuffed it in my pocket. "I'm stuck on a few problems so I need your help."

I excused myself at the first opportunity and ran for the bathroom. Asakura didn't need to know about this and there was the image in my head of her flying towards me with a knife that added urgency to the incident.

"Meet me outside behind the small tool shed in back of the school during the break." It was signed by Asahina-sempai.

So what exactly was this? I threw it away almost immediately into the trash. She must know that I'm dating Asakura and she just doesn't seem like the devious type. Maybe she wants to talk about something in secret...well obviously.

The rest of the morning until the break passed quickly enough. Asakura didn't feel the need to poke me in the back and threaten me for literature and English since my marks are fairly high in those courses, which left my mind to wander.

Tsuruya, from what I've heard of her, is a sharp cookie. She protects Mikuru from the throngs of admirers that follow her around like some kind of bodyguard. Maybe Asakura will have some company setting up that rifle on the roof when I go to meet Mikuru.

When the bell finally rang, Asakura skipped away humming as she went, leaving me to find my way out to the shed in the back of the school.

The gardening club once used the shed but they moved to another part of the school grounds leaving the little red shed in a state of disrepair. Cherry trees and flowers of every colour filled the underbrush. They were probably the remnants of what the gardening club had planted. It was a nice place for a confession, which I hope it isn't.

"I'm having weird dreams," a cute voice came from behind the shed. "No, that'll make me sound strange."

"You're in my dreams? But...but that sounds like a confession. What am I going to do? He'll be here soon." The cute voice continued sounding so pitiable.

"Hi," I said, trying not to scare her, "you asked me to meet you here?"

"Eeep!" She jumped. Her face was turning darker red by the second. "I...me..."

She was so cute standing there covering her face that I'd challenge a guy not to feel bad for her. I wanted to go hold her but that would cause even more misunderstandings.

"I..I..I've been having dreams...but...but they aren't like dreams but like memories that I...I don't remember. That doesn't make sense. Let...let me try again."

"What is the memory of?"

"We..we're in the clubroom and I'm serving you and the others tea." Her face flushed an even darker shade of red. There was something even more embarrassing about the memory. When she said this, something sparked in my own memory and the image of us in the clubroom now contained Asahina-san.

"I had a dream like that too!"

"I'm relieved...I thought you'd think I was strange." How anyone could think this of the adorable girl is beyond comprehension.

"The break is almost over. I think we should meet again at the cafe at the bottom of the hill." She hesitated for a second and gave me a small strip of paper with her phone number written on it. I quickly scribbled my own number down on a scrap of paper from my pocket and handed it to her.

"Would it be okay if I brought Nagato-san?" Her brow knitted and she shook a little but she nodded all the same.

We had decided without speaking to walk back separately to avoid any complications. We seemed to have an easy understanding between the two of us, much like Nagato and myself, as if I knew them well. What possessed Asahina-sempai to ask me to meet her despite all the misunderstandings that it could of caused? And what caused this all to happen now? I don't remember having weird dreams and constant deja-vu before the last couple of days.

The rest of the school day passed as if I were in a daze. What would the meeting with Nagato, who talked very little, and my shy sempai be like? For any other normal male, the thought of meeting these two would be like winning the lottery, but for attached guys, it's best they place these thoughts as far away as possible.

Asakura had cleaning duty so I was forced to descend K2 by my lonesome. I was just outside of the gate when my cell phone began to vibrate.

"Kyon? Shall we meet at the cafe?" she whispered.

"Okay, first I have to get Nagato so I might be a little late."

To my surprise, Nagato followed along after me like a lost puppy. It took about as much convincing as it would to get a hungry man to eat.

The cafe was crowded with girls from the school at the bottom of the hill, but few were sitting in the booths. Asahina had not showed up yet, so I ordered a coffee while we were waiting. Nagato refused to order for some reason she did see fit to disclose.

When Asahina finally arrived she was wearing a classic disguise: a kerchief over her hair and dark glasses. She seemed nervous and sat at the very edge of the seat.

"We seemed to be some sort of club." I decided to start. I had already explained to Nagato why we were meeting so there was no need to go over it again.

"Yes, but...why does it... seem like I'm forgetting something important." Mikuru's eyes were darting back and forth between Nagato and myself.

"Maybe it's something to do with that strange girl with the yellow ribbon in her hair." It seemed like everyone's attention was focused on her.

"Haruhi Suzumiya," Nagato stated matter of factly.

We started to piece together what we could like a memory jigsaw puzzle; each one of our individual fragments adding up to make a bigger picture. We managed to cobble together that we were some kind of mystery research group and we had already encountered supernatural things. Also, Nagato was an alien, Mikuru was a time traveler, and Itsuki was an esper. We couldn't really decide about Haruhi, but we came to an agreement that she was some kind of reality-warper or eldritch abomination.

What was truly weird was that none of us questioned any of the conclusions that we came to. I suppose, sharing memories that didn't happen and that girl named Haruhi being involved, made our suspicions float away.

"Why are we meeting like this and trying to keep it secret? Aren't we just making it worse for ourselves if we get found out?" I felt I should question Mikuru's disguise.

"Asakura is protective of myself. She would also want to be included in these discussions and I cannot predict her reaction if certain events came to light."

"Umm...Tsuruya would want to be here too." Mikuru blushed hard while looking at her hands.

"Eeep!" Mikuru moved closer to the window and slid as far down into her seat as she was able to get. Certain...assets brought up in the table and prevented her from sliding all the way down to the floor.

I was about to ask her what was wrong when a loud boisterous laugh filled the cafe and I immediately knew who it was without turning. Tsuruya, two other classmates, and Asakura were standing near the counter waiting for their orders. Asakura was standing to one side and blushing slightly, seemingly embarrassed by her loud sempai.

"Speak of the devil." Mikuru didn't hear me but Nagato locked her eyes on my own for a few seconds before she looked away. She seemed perplexed, her eyebrows rose slightly and her eyes widened. If I had not been watching carefully I wouldn't have noticed any expression change at all. Maybe she hadn't heard that saying before, but that was unlikely with all the reading she does.

My heart was beating fast; I could hear it pounding in my ears. Mikuru's overreaction to the situation had made me anxious. Peeping back at them, I could see Tsuruya and Asakura talking amicably. After a few minutes they simply left, with their drinks in hand, without turning back. It felt like one of those movies where they add a scene, for no discernable reason, just to add tension.

Mikuru was making soft noises and trembling while trying her best to hide her face. I couldn't help but smile at her childishness. She wasn't meant to live on the edge; perhaps living in an hedge like a mouse, would be best.

At the very least this meeting gave me a sense of purpose. I'd need to find this Haruhi girl...and maybe Itsuki if I feel like it.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: The author of the fanfiction (babbler) does not, in any way, profit from the story and that all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator.

* * *

**Consequence and Coincidence**

Chapter 7: The Love Potion of Haruhi Suzumiya

Today was the fastest I have ever ascended Lhotse and perhaps the only time I haven't complained about it. The prospect of finding some more clues to why we have shared memories of events that never happened was intriguing. This Haruhi girl, who we all seem so connected to, must be in this school somewhere.

There were only a few people in my classroom when I arrived and they weren't the Haruhi I remembered. I was hoping I'd recognize her right away but that was perhaps too ambitious, so I opened my literature notes to pass the time, and maybe score some points with Asakura for uncoerced studying.

Short, fat, tall, male but the hyperactive genki girl evaded me as the time before the bell ticked down.

"How could I be so dumb?" I said to myself as I reached into Asakura's desk for the class register. I didn't need to wake up so early if I just check the class register for Haruhi...but there was no Haruhi listed.

If she were in this class she would have triggered a deja-vu moment already but I don't remember any. Even if she were using an assumed name, I should have already spotted her. I will mourn for the precious minutes of sleep I lost

I got out of my seat to stretch my legs and go for a walk before the bell rang. Most of the students were here now so maybe if I took a look around I might see her. The hallway was packed and trying to take a good look at every girl's face that I passed was a definite challenge. I couldn't help but feel icy glares coming my way...rumours that I've been checking out girls before class will probably make its way back to Asakura.

Our test scores were still on the wall from our last big assessment. Asakura's name was right up at the top where Haruhi's name should have been at the top, but there were no recognizable names there. Other than the top scorers, the rest of the names were listed in alphabetical order, so it was a chore looking through them all. In the movies characters always pick some phony name that crumbles the minute pressure's applied. There were no names like that, and Haruhi seemed to be the sort to use something like Saruhi Huzumiya.

Megumi Sakamoto, Naoko Sato, Daichi Shintaku...John Smith. That was a name I knew. I don't know when or why I used it, maybe a convenient flashback will remind me, but that was my pseudonym.

"Kyon!" Asakura glomped me. "Where did you run off to last...you don't look so good."

There was a John Smith running around this school that wasn't me.

"You're all white and your hands are shaking."

"I'm okay. It's just these marks remind me of all the test coming up."

Asakura pouted, "I'll believe you since you aren't supposed to lie to me. We better hurry up and get to class."

"Asakura, do you know a John Smith?"

"Hmm, he's in the next class over. I think he's on the baseball team."

"What does he look like?"

"Huh? He looks like that actor from that vampire movie...if he were Japanese that is."

I was sort of expecting a goatee and an evil glint in his eye.

"Why would he look like that? Is he you evil twin?"

"Kyon-kun!" a voice rang out from somewhere down the hall. "Come with me please." Tsuruya's was suddenly pulling me down the hall. She asked politely but there wasn't much I could do but keep my flailing limbs from hitting passersby as she pulled me along at break neck speed.

"My sources tell me you and Mikuru-chan have been having little rendezvous together. That isn't wise. I'd watch out if I were you." She was smirking in a good-humoured way but a shiver still ran down my spine. I could almost feel the hint of steel behind her politeness. How did she find out?

"I'll forgive you this time." She skipped off without looking back.

The bell had already rung when I walked into the room. It was hard to avoid the teacher's look of death as I tried to make my way to my seat without seeing him in my peripheral vision. If I didn't see him, I didn't do anything wrong; he had already warned me once this week about being late.

I sat in my seat and began taking out my books. A scrap of paper landed on my desk. The bell had barely rung and someone was already passing notes.

"Get me a date with Nagato or I tell Asakura about your date with Mikuru." It wasn't signed but it was easy to tell whom it was from. Does anybody in this school have anything else to do but spy on me?

Taniguchi turned around to see my response. I thought about pretending to laugh and slapping my knee while pointing at him but I just shook my head instead. He clenched his teeth and narrowed his eyes and mouthed, "its war." In response I dropped the note on Asakura desk behind me. Taniguchi gave me a look that said "what?" and turned around when he noticed the teacher staring at him.

"Why was this story written?" Was on the board in large letters. I noticed that everyone else was quietly writing. Crap, why was what story written? I should have been paying attention.

"Asakura," I whispered, "what story is he..." She wasn't in her seat. She was by the teacher's desk pointing at something in her textbook.

SNOCK! The noise echoed through the perfectly quiet classroom. Well, it didn't really echo since the room was too full for that, but it was loud. It was the sound of something heavy and dense hitting something equally heavy and dense.

The classroom was suddenly abuzz with students whispering the whispers of students who would use any excuse to end their literature torment.

I turned to Asakura as she returned to her desk. "What story are we supposed to be doing?"

"Ha ha ha ha," she tried hard to stifle her laughter, "the...story on...page 253. You're a sweetheart."

I must have had something along the lines of "huh?" on my face because she added, "we'll talk lunchtime."

I have no idea what's going on so I guess I'll have to wait. That reminds me, what am I going to do about John Smith. Am I just going to walk up to him and start talking? He's definitely another piece of the puzzle, but how am I going to find out more since I'm not friends with the guy and I don't feel like buying night vision goggles and that thing that amplifies sound. Then again, Mikuru took a chance and talked to me. She didn't know if I'd be receptive or think that she's a few astronauts short of a launch.

After the bell rang I headed to the class next door; I couldn't help but feel I'd end up in the psychiatrists office after this.

The classroom was identical to ours but mirrored. I looked around for a few second then stepped back outside; none of the guys looked like what I'd imagine my doppelganger to look like.

"Excuse me," I asked a petite girl with long hair leaning against the door frame, "is John Smith in today?"

"You must have just missed him. I don't know where he went though. Sorry." I was angsting for an hour about doppelgangers and craziness, and now I have to wait till lunch.

I wandered back to my class.

"Kyon, your bitch of a girlfriend nearly took my head off!" Taniguchi was holding a cold pack to the side of his head.

"What?"

"That loud noise we heard was Taniguchi's head intercepting a thick literature textbook," Kunikida chimed in.

"Sensei laughed at me. He said if Asakura did that then I probably deserved it. THERE IS NO JUSTICE!"

Asakura appeared besides me and smiled brilliantly at Taniguchi. "Did you get a booboo? Want me to take a look at it? I've done first aid maybe I can help." She was trying out her concerned mother voice.

"Don't touch me." He stared hard at Asakura and walked to his desk one step at a time keeping his eyes glued to her the whole time.

Did Asakura really have to concuss Taniguchi to keep him away from Nagato. His mother was always saying someone needed to beat some sense in his thick head, but I don't think she meant with a book. Hmm, trauma based learning.

"Kyon-chan?" Asakura clung to my arm looking up at me with wide eyes. "I shouldn't believe the nasty rumours about Mikuru-san right? Or should I be worried. Why are you turning red."

"Because there's no way for me to answer this without misunderstandings but you don't have to be worried." I wonder if she has been having these deja-vu moments and weird memories like the rest of us.

"I don't like that answer but I'll believe you." The room tinged orange-red and Asakura was standing there with something glimmering clenched in her hands, but only for a second and it was gone again. Asakura was already sitting in her seat staring off into the distance.

I didn't notice it before but there was a folded piece of paper in my desk with my name in handwriting I didn't recognize. Two notes in two days; I must be getting popular. Carefully, trying to conceal what I was doing, I opened the note.

"Meet me after school by the baseball field utility shed." It was signed John Smith.

What's it with these people and meeting behind sheds? Apparently, somehow, news that I wanted to meet this guy had gotten around. At least he didn't leave the note in my shoe locker. I couldn't help but sigh and stare at the ceiling. It felt like I was meeting for a confession. It sounded like the start to a bad yaoi doujinshi.

Asakura didn't make a sound throughout the entire next class until lunch. When I peaked back at her there was something about her blank expression and gloomy aura that reminded me of someone else. Even when the bell rang she didn't move and just stayed in her seat, seemingly not even hearing the bell.

A purple haired short girl appeared in the doorway and pierced my eyes with her own. Rather than come in the room or ask someone to get me, she just remained there staring.

"What's wrong Nagato?" I said making my way over to the door.

"I need you to come to my clubroom for a moment." She started walking away, but not before sending a concerned look Asakura's way, brief, but that troubled sad look for her friend was definitely there. Asakura didn't notice.

There was a chilled atmosphere as I walked down the hallway. The rumour mill was in overdrive and here I was in the presence of yet another girl.

When I opened the door to the clubroom I was half expecting Mikuru to be wearing a fake moustache and glasses, but she didn't disappoint. Sitting at the far end of the table, Mikuru was wearing a very stylish pair of glasses with her hair in a ponytail. It's hard to put in words exactly how, but she had made herself look like someone else with just these two additions. That ponytail alone would be enough for me to joyously ascend the hill to school for another twenty years.

I wiped the drool from my chin and sat down. Mikuru was making small cute noises and trembling slightly. She opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out.

"There are no students by the name of Haruhi Suzumiya or Itsuki Koizumi attending this school. Also, they are not using pseudonyms as there are no students who resemble them closely enough." Nagato was on the same wavelength as myself.

"I think I might know a lead..." I started as the door to the clubroom opened and Tsuruya bounded in followed by Asakura walking slowly behind her. Tsuruya took the chair beside me with Asakura taking the chair besides Nagato.

"Whatcha meeting for in private?" Tsuruya leaned on the table with her chin supported by her hands.

"We were discussing something concerning the three of us. It does not however, concern the two of you." There was an edge to Nagato's words that I've never heard before, granted I've only known her for a few days, but unexpected nonetheless.

Asakura was staring at her hands resting in her lap looking awkward and shy. Tsuruya, on the other hand, was shifting her eyes between Mikuru and myself accusingly.

"Dammit! There's something going on and we want to know what it is." Tsuruya slammed her fist down on the table.

"If we saw fit to tell you, we would have already have done so." Nagato was sitting with her hands clasped in front of her with completely straight posture. She was expressionless and rigid. Her eyes never left Tsuruya.

Asakura smiled warmly at her friend and stood up. "Come on Tsuruya, this is dumb. Lets leave." She ran a gentle hand through Nagato's hair.

Tsuruya grudgingly stood up and was about to say something but Asakura pushed her out the door.

"What was that all about?" I slumped down in my chair.

"Jealousy." Mikuru jumped in her chair as Nagato spoke.

"Wh...wha...what?"

"In literary examples it is common to 'murder the hypotenuse' so to speak, although, I do not see this situation progressing that far. In both cases it would be you who suffers." Nagato nodded in my direction.

"Mur...mur..murder!"

"I don't believe Tsuruya," she paused for a second, "or Asakura would do such a thing, but we need to clear up these misunderstandings. The knife of betrayal, whether real or imagined, cuts deepest of all."

What if I tell Asakura and something is jarred loose. I don't even remember everything clearly and I already have two images in my head of her with a knife trying to stab me. "Let love be my shield," I suppose I could, but this isn't a magical girl manga. Combat knife vs. love. Knife wins.

The bell rang, as I was about to express my concern. It felt as though I had just sat down when I said goodbye to the girls for the day.

When I returned to the classroom Asakura looked happier than she had this morning. She was humming softly and doing the math problems that were assigned for homework.

"I have to talk to somebody after school, but do you want to do something afterwards."

"Is it to do with your secret club?" She made quote signs with her fingers.

"Yes. We might have to wait a little while though because he probably wants to meet after baseball practice."

^____^

The baseball team equipment shed was perched on the embankment above the baseball field. I couldn't actually see the field from where I stood because of a stand of trees. It was also in the far corner of the school property and completely deserted at this time of day. If I was meeting anyone but my own doppelganger, I'd be worried.

Below me were garbage cans and refuge in a small alcove with a locked gate. A set of dilapidated concrete stairs led down to the gate. I wonder if my clone is embarrassed to be seen talking with me?

"Kyon, have you talked with him yet?" Asakura sneaked up behind me.

"Not yet."

"Shoot! I forgot my bio book." She ran off to a side door; leaving as quickly as she had come.

Crunch cruch crunch. Someone was walking on the gravel directly behind me.

"John?" I turned my head. Something brown was flying through the air. Everything seemed to pause for a second and I confirmed that it was a book bag as it struck my head.

I stepped forward, trying not to fall of the embankment, and my foot managed to find the edge of the stairs, but the concrete crumbled under my weight.

^____^

"Yuck," I sat up. What was that smell? There were tiny black blurry things, buzzing their annoying hum, around my head as I opened my eyes. They were merging together with the background and separating in a cascade of colour. Everything was spinning. I didn't want to move.

I closed my eyes to block out the throbbing pain in my head. Thump...thump...thump, the pain was keeping rhythm with my heartbeat.

I got to my knees and pushed myself up on a shaky leg into a half kneeling half standing position. The earth went sideways for a second and I grabbed for the stairs and they crumbled away, like a cookie under my touch. Down I went.

"Hey! What's wrong." A strong arm wrapped itself around me and pulled me to my feet.

"Are you drunk?"

"No..." I felt like puking on his sparkly clean cleats though.

He sat me down on my nemesis the stairs and gripped my face. "Follow my finger." I followed it as he moved it this way and that, out and in. He then started touching the sides and top of my head with a gentle hand.

"Let me guess. You fell off the bank."

"I guess so. I don't remember. I was standing there and suddenly I was lying with the trash."

"Kana!" The guy yelled in the direction of the shed but no one replied. "Kana Shimi!" Something fell in the shed with a thud and then the door flew open as a tiny figure tumbled out backwards.

"Ow." She rubbed her back and turned to look at us.

"Come here and watch this guy from the other class. I think he has a concussion." He raced off toward the school leaving the blushing girl, with long brown hair, still lying on the gravel. I'd have gotten up to help her but she probably doesn't need some strange guy falling on her.

"Hi," she said looking at her shoes, her face instantly bright red. "A concussion?" She sat down besides me. "Are...you okay? John should be back in a second."

"John Smith?"

"Do you know him?"

* * *

Sorry about the delay. Last week was a perfect storm of work and course work. I actually posted this last Friday but I just uploaded it to the document manager and forgot to add it to the story. My bad, but anyway...this chapter is a little longer than the others to make up for the delay : )

In other notes, it feels as though I'm losing Kyon's voice and I'll have to go read some Haruhi to get back on track. Some of the characters, coughTsuruyacough, are turning OC but it difficult not to have this when you've changed things to the extent I have.

I hope you enjoy this installment. As always, feedback and comments are appreciated.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: The author of the fanfiction (babbler) does not, in any way, profit from the story and that all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator.

* * *

**Ouch, me noggin!**

Chapter 8: The Love Potion of Haruhi Suzumiya

Kana was looking back and forth between the trash in the alcove and the top of the embankment. "So, you just fell off." There was no edge to her voice; it was so soft and smooth I could feel myself drifting into slumber with just five words.

"I guess." Just great, now I have another memory mystery. "I feel a little better now so lets try walking to the front entrance." I wonder where John went?

"Are you sure? If you fall I'm not catching you." Her eyes shot open. "I mean...you're too big and you'll just fall over on top of me...not that I wouldn't try anyway, but I can't support you weight..."

She was still stammering as I got to my feet, and though shaky, started to walk. We were on the opposite side of campus from the nurse's office. I have the best luck.

Kana was staring at the ground immediately in front of her as we walked, occasionally shifting her eyes. "Why were you back there?"

"I was suppose to meet someone but they didn't come."

"Boys always ask my friends to meet them there for confessions." She stopped for a second and sighed but kept walking. "Who were you suppose to meet?" Blood was filling her cheeks.

"It was business rather than pleasure." That sounded weird.

"...I guess so. With all your girlfriends you wouldn't be...Sorry..."

"I didn't think you'd knew who I am."

"With a name...I guess nickname, like Kyon? There's lots of rumours about you lately."

"Is it that I'm dating three girls?"

"Yeah, but more like a love pentagon. I think it kinda weird that you're popular with girls that are...hmm...different." Her face was turning steadily redder.

"Different?" I wonder if she somehow knows how different they are? Haruhi! But Haruhi didn't actually know those girls were different, at least not consciously. I guess the simple fact she seems to be dating my doppelganger should put her under suspicion. Under suspicion of what...I'm not sure. I'll just have to keep an eye on her.

"You know...sharing umbrellas, walking to school together in the morning...holding hands. I...my friend confessed to Mikuru...she said she was with someone."

Okay, clearly we're having completely different conversations. Kana looked like she had just come out of a steam room. Sweat was running down her brow and her shaky gait resembled my own. Hers was the blush other blushes strived to become.

Kana's phone began to vibrate and she eagerly answered it. I was only a few steps away from her but she spoke so softly that I couldn't hear a word she said. If this blushing, shaking girl was Haruhi, than it was her alter ego. I wonder if I bash her in the head would she revert back to herself? I suppose I should wait for more information before I attempt cranial trauma...maybe after the nurse treats my own.

"John says the nurse isn't there so he called a cab to take you to the hospital."

We were just inside the front gate so I sat down and leaned against wall. I somehow felt much worse after sitting down. My stomach turned into an acidic monster and the throbbing in my head got worse. The cold bricks against my back felt good though.

"Kyon?" Asakura's face was suddenly right in front of my own. "What wrong?"

"I bonked my noggin."

"What? When?...How?" Her eyes were wide open and her face was taking on a white pallor.

"Probably just after you left. I must have slipped and fell off that embankment I was standing on."

"He knocked himself out and John saw him lying in the trash," Kana's voice was jittery.

"Why did you move him!" she barked at Kana. "He could have had a spine injury!" She opened my eyes and looked intently at them. "Do you feel sick? Can you remember what happened?"

"Stupid f*&^ing people, " she whispered, holding her fingers against my throat to feel my pulse.

The cab John called pulled up to the gate and blew its horn. Asakura glared at Kana and then pulled me to my feet with surprising strength. She put her arm around my shoulder and dragged me to the car and then placed me gently inside. I was a little worried she was going to carry me like one would a bride.

"Thank you for your help Shimi-san. Sorry, if I was a little cross. Please thank Smith-san for me as well when you see him." Asakura turned to face Kana and politely bowed. The cab was facing the entrance so I could see Asakura face in the side mirror. She was smiling brightly with hands clasped behind her back...her knuckles were turning white.

Asakura got aboard the car and we set off down the steep road. Asakura had a hand on my leg but she was staring intently out the window. Her right hand was still tightly clenched; drops of blood were dripping from her palm.

"That idiot should have just called an ambulance," Asakura muttered, still staring out the window.

"I'm okay Asakura. Calm down."

"But..." She put her hand against my face then wheeled down the window. "You're bright red and sweating. You're shaking! What's wrong?"

"It's just hot aboard this car and my stomach isn't so good." That smile she still had plastered on her face made me want to get out of there real fast. Even the pavement at 50 km/h looked cozy.

^_____^

My mother thinks she's some kind of authority when it comes to certain things. She was fine with waking me up every two hours to make sure I wasn't having a delayed reaction to my slight concussion, though Asakura volunteered for this duty. The doctor had also said not to go to school the next day. This was not going to happen under mom's watch and she sent me marching off bright and early. Her logic was that I'd have the entire weekend to recuperate after I made it through this one day of school.

As I hiked up the hill my head started throbbing, though I think it was from lack of sleep more than anything. How exactly was I going to concentrate all day with someone playing the bongos in my noggin?

"What the heck are you doing here?" Taniguchi put his sweaty... sweaty arm around my shoulders.

"Ours is not to question why..."

"That crazy bitch probably gave me a concussion too yesterday."

"What do you mean 'too'?"

"I just figured Asakura clocked you after she found you with Mikuru or Nagato or someone."

"No! I fell down and hit my head...like a klutz."

"Whatever you want to tell yourself." He made a beeline for a girl I'd seen him talking to a few times. She didn't seem particularly interested in talking to him. Any normal guy would find something wrong when the object of your affecting sprints 100 meters in 10.49 seconds to get away from you.

It felt weird walking to school at this time in the morning. The last few days I had been coming early so there was hardly anyone there when I had arrived. Today the hallway was packed with students.

Everyone was in our classroom, except Asakura and Taniguchi, when I took my seat. Before I had time to settle away, Asakura's hair fluttered by my face smelling of flowery shampoo. It was then that something clicked into place in my mind. I'm starting to get tired of these memory games. Anyway, Asakura must have been close when I got my concussion. I remember talking to her...did she push me?

"There's no way she pushed me," I whispered to myself, glancing back at the blue mop of hair behind me. She was scared when she saw me sitting by the gate, and angry too, she was probably already worried and looking all over for me.

"Asakura, why were you so mad yesterday at Kana."

"That idiot's boyfriend moved you and then ran off and left that... dimwit with you!"

"So I didn't see you glowering at me, arms crossed, when you came out the main entrance?" I didn't really think about at the time, but she was definitely mad when I saw her coming towards me out of the corner of my eye yesterday evening.

"No." The bell rang and she started pestering me about taking out my books. Maybe if I told her some things she wants to know, she'll divulge some of the things that are making her cranky.

I had to wait until recess, but as soon as the bell rang I found myself dragging Asakura to the roof exit. It felt nice pulling someone along who didn't have a clue what was going on rather than the other way around.

"What do you want? Now all those people we passed are going to think we came up here for a make-out session or something."

"Lets make a deal." She made a cat like smile as I said it. "I'll answer your questions if you answer mine."

"Me first! Why are you meeting with Nagato and Mikuru in secret?" She tried to look confident.

"We three share memories of events that didn't happen and we're trying to figure out what's going on."

"That's all it is? I don't want to believe the rumours but it's hard."

I don't know what the rumours are but I bet I can safely say, "Yes, That's all it is."

"Now me. Why are you acting weird lately?"

Asakura fiddled with her hands. "Part of it you already answered...I'm I'm jealous of you and Nagato. She likes you more than she likes me. It took me ages to even get her to talk in sentences. She'd just nod or shake her head or point..." She turned her back toward me. "I don't have many friends so when I see you with Nagato, it reminds me of how alone I am...and that just makes me feel bad about spending all this time with you when Nagato doesn't have anyone else." It had all come tumbling out at once.

All I could do was hug her. She was still looking down and avoiding my eyes as I grasped her. She was always faking that girly vulnerable look but I didn't know she could genuinely pull it off. She's definitely a lonely bunny.

She was happier and her smile seemed to glow, rather than that very scary stabby smile she worse yesterday after I hit my head.

We walked down the stairs to our proper floor. John raised his hand and signaled me to come over. I think he may have been waiting for me.

"One of the guys on the baseball team saw what happened to you yesterday. He isn't here this morning though, but I heard someone say he definitely saw something."

"So someone pushed me or something?"

"Here." He gave me a piece of a paper with a number scrawled on it. "I don't think he'd lie about something like that."

It felt like a load of bricks had hit me. Asakura's name was the first one to pop in my head as likely culprits. I don't know how'd I react if that guy told me Asakura pushed me. Should I even call him?

"What! You three share memories of some kind of alternate dimension?" Asakura whispered harshly in my ear. Delayed reaction.

How did Asakura know it was an alternate dimension?

"Maybe you just need counseling and medication. Why is that never a solution?"

"That's exactly why I didn't want to tell you or let more people know about it. I have nothing wrong with my head!"

"Besides the concussion..."

"How can the three of us have some kind of shared mental disorder?"

"It would only take one mental disorder to explain everything." Asakura shrugged. "If you were hallucinating or something, this could all be inside your head. I had a dream where I broke my arm when I fell off my bike. After I woke up, I dressed and showered while nursing that arm like it was broken. The brain is capable of amazing things. Remember all that biology the other night I was cramming in your head."

"If that were true, you'd be an element of my hallucination telling me I'm hallucinating! Why are you messing with me?"

"Because I can. Besides, Nagato sucks at this. You're a bit of a slow study so I figured I jump a few steps and tell you now that you're out of your mind...instead of, you know, whenever you figure it out in the next year." The bell rang and we went back to class.

I took out my math book and pretended to do the assigned problems. There was something about that cartoonish conversation that just didn't feel right. It was like a clichéd television show where the protagonist wakes up and realizes it was all a dream. My recent concussion could be some kind of echo of what initially caused all this to come about.

That's stupid! I refuse to let my world degenerate into terrible fanfiction. Thinking about it more, what 'struck home' was another implication. Haruhi is a reality warper and has ultimate control over everything. In my dreams, I'm a reality warper with control over everything, albeit subconsciously. I could be living my life as a figment of Haruhi imagination...and because of her powers, how would I ever know if I'm right or not. Every time I dream do I kill of scores of innocent sentient beings? Are they fighting for ways to stop their realities from changing?

Maybe it was my head trauma talking.

* * *

More to come soon I promise! :)


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: The author of the fanfiction (babbler) does not, in any way, profit from the story and that all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator.

* * *

**That Night**

Chapter 9: The Love Potion of Haruhi Suzumiya

When lunch came a silver haired bespectacled girl appeared at the door and beckoned me to come with her. Mikuru was again dressed in a disguise. She had thinned rimmed tiny glasses on the tip of her nose and her hair tied in a tight bun...I'd be an avid reader if she were the librarian.

"Kyon-kun are you okay? I heard you hit your head." She hesitantly touched my forehead with her small hand.

"I'm okay. Asakura's says I have concrete for brains."

"I hope the concrete is okay." Mikuru sat back in her seat. I couldn't help but notice Nagato watching me out of the corner of her eye.

"Tsuruya-san cut me off yesterday so I'll start from there. I used the pseudonym John Smith with Haruhi three years ago...in the other reality, and it's probably what caused her to come to this school. Now there's a John Smith running around this place that isn't me and he's dating a girl named Kana Shimi."

"I have no further information." Nagato added bluntly as she looked up from the book she just opened.

"Um...don't you think it is odd that Kyon and Asakura are dating? Haruhi-san created closed space once when Kyon and I were being...umm playful."

"Asakura has some of Haruhi's characteristics but they are not similar enough to be the latter imitating the former."

I hadn't thought about that possibility.

"What about John? Kana's dating him so she could be Haruhi too, although, she's absolutely nothing like her." If anything, Kana was the exact opposite of Haruhi. The two were as different as night and day or salt and sugar.

"Kyon-kun, the night that everything happened...what did you do? Haruhi-san left school because she was hurt didn't she?

"Umm..." The memory was vague but rapidly returning.

"It would help our situation immensely if you could tell us what happened." Nagato was giving me a sharp look. I get the feeling that they want to know, if only slightly, for personal rather than business reasons.

"I went to her apartment and I cooked supper for her."

"Itsuki-kun said he could sense closed space forming that evening. Haruhi-san must have been in a bad mood. How come Kyon-kun's visit didn't improve her mood?"

"I don't remember all the details."

"There are two things that worry me." Nagato changed the topic rather abruptly. "I am regaining my recollection of the alternate reality at a rapid rate and the 'love potion' may be still in affect to some degree. Tsuruya, and Asakura's actions toward you, is evidence of this. Your concussion may be evidence as well."

That probably explains the rumours too. "Nagato, why does regaining your memories worry you?"

"I do not know for certain since I do not have access to the Integrated Data Sentient Entity. Regaining memories of a reality that ceases to be may be evidence of Haruhi becoming dissatisfied with the things around her."

"Eeep." Mikuru jumped in her seat as a shiver ran through her body.

"You must remember the details of what happened at Haruhi occupancy." Again I could sense mixed feelings directed my way from Nagato. If she were Asakura, she'd be wearing that scary fake smile, or become depressed if she were Haruhi, but Nagato just stared out from that cold emotionless face. There was just something about the blunted edge of her words and the way she looked at me that said she was "interested" in what happened that night.

I left the clubroom and started walking down the hallway back to the classroom.

"Nagato-san." I turned to look to see who had spoken.

A deeply blushing upperclassman stopped Nagato and attempted a stammering conversation. She didn't make a single word in reply, so, after embarrassing himself, he handed her an envelope and ran away as fast as he could.

Nagato, left standing there, immediately dropped the envelope in the trash without looking at it. She glanced my way for the briefest of moments, locked eyes with myself, and then continued down the hallway in the opposite direction as myself.

"Kyon-kun, Asakura-san wouldn't like you looking at other girls like that." Mikuru twirled in front of me and smiled.

I wonder if that love potion is still affecting Nagato...and what about Asakura? She wasn't around in the last reality so she wouldn't be affected, but the potion spreads like some kind of virus so she would get it if she came in contact with someone under its effects...but then, did that potion really transfer over to his reality? Argg, this makes my brain hurt!

When I made it back to the classroom it was nice to see Asakura happily talking to the girl in the neighboring seat while she waited for class to begin. This was reassuring to say the least. She was starting to remind me of Haruhi when she'd forlornly stare out the window for entire periods without moving an inch.

My chest was tight, it felt like a big black bear had its claws firmly on my ribs and was slowly squeezing. Haruhi was out there somewhere and she was disenchanted with this reality. We had to find Haruhi soon or we'd have to do this dance again.

Asakura didn't bother me for the rest of rest of the school day; if we would have had chemistry or math it would be a different story. Naturally, rather than think about literature, I tried to remember the night I went to Haruhi's in as much detail as possible.

Did I remember that night better because I kept thinking about it, or was this reality slowly unraveling like that sweater my aunt gave me? I'd like to say the former but the knot in my stomach from the conversation with Nagato was still there.

It was hard to keep everything straight in my head as I tried to pry memories from the tiny cracks they had fallen into, so I took out a piece of paper and started writing it all down. It wasn't until I was finished that I realized how bad an idea this was. If Asakura were to see this...hmm...I'm going to write this up like a story and give it to Asakura to see what she thinks. Obviously, I can't tell her it's one of my memories but if I write it like it's one scene in part of a story maybe it'll convince her. Maybe I'll figure out how I changed reality if I show it to her.

I wonder if Asakura would be jealous if I told her about Haruhi? In some ways she's like an invisible friend, or rather invisible antagonist. If Haruhi really were invisible that would be awesome. Incorporeal would be the way to go not invisible...an invisible Haruhi would be more terrifying than a highly visible Haruhi any day.

An invisible Haruhi staring at me as I sleep and following me everywhere gave me bad memories of an anime I watched about some crazy village.

"Kyon!" Asakura grabbed my neck and chin and twirled my head around. "I managed to convince Nagato to go shopping with me!"

"Okay?" She nearly broke my neck.

"You don't understand. Nagato would prefer dental torture to shopping...she's a lot like you in that way. Anyway, I won't be around till 8:00. Don't do anything I wouldn't do until then! I have to go grab her before she squirms out of our deal." She ran out of the room as the bell sounded.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," doesn't sound like good advice coming from her, of course, I will never say this to her face...ever.

-----

It took me only twenty minutes to turn that night's memory into a few pages that looked like it fell out of someone else's story. Mom, for some ungodly reason, had a brand new computer hooked up to an, older than me, dot matrix printer. The configuration looked like blasphemy against God; although I get the feeling Haruhi would be fine with it. The sleek new computer hooked up to the large ugly plastic abomination almost turned my stomach. I was getting the candles ready for a sacrifice to quench the unholy union's thirst for blood when the familiar whir of the printer finally started up.

After untying my sacrifice candidate...I mean helping my sister wash the dishes, I was ready for Asakura's visit. I roughed up the story a little to make it look worn and put it under some books on my kotatsu in my room. She's a little...nosy, so maybe she'll take interest in it on her own and I won't have to draw attention to it.

"Hello Asakura-kun...why do you have your book bag?"

Speak of the devil.

"I...Kyon is getting behind in his math so I thought we'd finish our math assignment. "

"In that outfit?...I want you gone before 12:00. Do you hear me Asakura-kun? I'm not putting up with your nonsense tonight."

It's funny that mom treats Asakura like some kind of delinquent that'll lead me down the wrong path. If anything, my grades and standing in class have risen since I've started dating Asakura.

Asakura timidly came into my room without knocking and sat quietly next to my bed without saying a word. She was wearing a little black dress that hugged her curves perfectly and gave a precise amount of attention to her long sexy legs.

"Your mom thinks I'm some kind of hoodlum."

"Probably afraid you're going to get me pregnant." I put my arm around her.

"Yeah...what?"

"Did you dress up for you date with Nagato?"

"No." She fiddled with something on her jacket. "She ran away from me...and it wasn't a date!"

You were in that outfit and she still ran away from you?

"I think we just got separated somewhere. I'll ask her tomorrow." The smile returned to her face. "Kyon?" she pouted moving her hand up my thigh.

"Yes?"

She straddled my leg, walking her hands up my chest and giving me the most magnificent view of her cleavage. "I want..."

"Mmm." She snuggled into me. "...to finish the math sensei assigned."

"It won't take long and then we can do something fun!" She cleared away the few things that were on my kotatsu. "What's this?" As if on cue, she found the little project I started earlier.

"Oh. That's some kind of story I accidentally took with me from Nagato's club room."

"Can I read it?" She was clearly reading it already.

The entire thing had turned out to be about five pages long and she was devouring it at an incredible rate. It was obvious that she shared her friend's love of reading.

"You should move over a bit, mom wouldn't like it if she walked in right now. She'll probably be checking in on us soon."

"Shush! I'm just getting to the good part." She turned over another sheet without breaking her rhythm.

"Ah, he broke her heart. I hate playing those stupid relationship games." She dropped the sheets on the floor out of the way.

"I didn't get that from it at all. He was a good friend and went over to her house to see how she was feeling and he even cooked dinner for her."

"Exactly, he made it blatantly obvious he was a 'friend' and nothing more. She kept upping the ante too and he kept going for it. Then when she's expecting a kiss good night, he just leaves."

"I'm lost."

"I suppose that could be another possibility." She picked the story back up and leafed through it. "If they weren't playing the same game than it wouldn't work out well for her either...he even starts feeling up her back when he pinning the cold pack on! He definitely knows they're playing a game."

"What game are you talking about?"

"Oh...um, something like poker...I don't know how to play poker...dammit! Okay, let me try. One person makes a play, then the other makes a play, and they keep moving forward if the other responds well."

Isn't that how things usually work?

"The girl keeps being cold to him but he stays and even cooks dinner for her. She raises the ante by leading him to her room, and that scene is definitely sexual, and when she's expecting a kiss he just leaves. She must have been nervous too, since she was drinking like that."

Crap! I guess I'm to blame for creating...another...alternate reality.

"She wasn't even in a good mood to begin with, and then, your crush comes along and rips your heart out. She probably thought he was running off to be with those girls who messaged him." She drooped her head, her entire body slumping to the floor.

"Are you okay?" I put my arm around Asakura's tiny shoulders.

"It just hit a little too close to home. Cooking dinner for someone and being nice to them and they run off and wag their tail at someone else." She turned her head away from me.

Now I'm confused.

* * *

Not much happens in this chapter but a lot is explained. This was meant to be part of the last chapter but things conspired against me and now it's its own chapter.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: The author of the fanfiction (babbler) does not, in any way, profit from the story and that all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator.

* * *

Third Times a Charm?

Chapter 10: The Love Potion of Haruhi Suzumiya

When I awoke Asakura was snuggled tightly into my back completely unperturbed by the fact that mom can come barging into the room at any moment.

"You awake?"

"Yeah."

"You feel like flashing the neighbors again?"

She sat up and punched me. "If you weren't such a big baby you'd sleep at my apartment! Mama's boy," she grumbled turning away from me.

"I'm sure they enjoyed the view." Her nails dug into my shoulder.

She slid beneath the covers and didn't say anything. If she had just hid like she was doing now she wouldn't have had to jump out the window. Thinking back to a few hours earlier, it was actually funny in a sick sort of way...

Asakura was nearly asleep when I heard mom stomping up the stairs, so she overreacted, jumped out of bed, pulled on a t-shirt, and dove out the window.

Ba-dump, ba-dump. After mom left, I slowly walked over to the window with my heart beating in my ears. I found myself mentally preparing to call the hospital and simultaneously pushing those horrible thoughts out of my head. I felt like I was in a quantum physics experiment. Asakura was now both hurt and unhurt.

Thankfully, Schrodinger's Asakura was unhurt and not dead, or some combination of both. She was perched ungracefully on the small ledge outside my window. There was just enough room where the ledge met an opposing wall for her to sit with her knees hugged tightly to her chest. Shivering and pale faced, I helped her jittery form back into the room...

"Kyyyyooonnn," Asakura brought me back to the present, "you can cook right?"

"What makes you think that?"

"Just an insight." She poked her head above the blankets for a second. "Want to play house with me today? If you make me breakfast you might get something in returnnnn."

My mother had once compared my cooking skills to that of Tantalus. I think she had a number of Greek myths confused in her head and I can only hope she meant my meals were tantalizing rather than any unfortunate implications.

"Okay. Fine. I'll make breakfast." It was hard to turn down huge puppy dog eyes. Not to mention certain, umm, other assets that were staring at me.

"We'll get Nagato too. I bet she would love your cooking," she giggled.

"Uh? Maybe she's recovering from a tryst with some guy she met last night."

"You're here...and that's sorta unlikely." Her head dipped below the blankets for a second, "to say the least."

Asakura hopped out of bed and begun getting dressed, a luminescent blush, on her cheeks.

Grudgingly, I got out of bed and dressed. I was hoping to sleep in for at least another hour. Asakura was humming softly as she combed her hair in front of the mirror. It was hard to believe that in another reality she had tried to stab me, though her fake smile still gave me hives.

"I'll meet you up the street a little ways," she said, already climbing out the window.

Creak. My little sister poked her head in the door just as I was about to open it. There was a tiny smile on her face, not unlike Haruhi's when she was up to something mischievous.

"You should knock before you open my door."

"I heard Asakura in here."

"Run along you little squirt!" I tried to hustle her out of my room.

"Mom!" I clamped my hand over her tiny mouth. How can such a tiny girl be so loud?

"Okay, okay! I'll take you out for an ice cream later if you keep you mouth shut." I moved my hand a little to let her speak.

"Are you kidding? I'm not five! Ten dollars and I don't tell mom." She crossed her arms and stared at me with half lidded eyes.

"No way! Five dollars or..."

"Mom!"

"Alright, here take what's left of my allowance! I don't care." I handed her the money and she happily skipped off to her room. She was going to be a handful in a couple of years.

Luckily, mom didn't make any insinuations about the previous night or attempt to bribe me like certain other less scrupulous family members. I figured she would chew me out, or ask a barrage of questions too fast for me to answer, like she usually did.

^---^

It was nice for once to be out walking in the morning and not have to climb a mountain.

"Hey, are you Kyon?" yelled a male voice from across the street interrupted my thoughts. I turned to see a guy about my age waving his arms at me. He was wearing a baseball uniform and had a bat slung over his shoulder.

"I'm going on ahead," Asakura said and started walking at a slow pace.

I ran across the street to see what this person had to say.

"I figured you were Kyon if you're with Asakura this early in the morning." His eyes were glued on her as he spoke. "Did John give you my number?"

"Oh shoot. I forgot to call you." I didn't really forget. What am I going to do if he tells me Asakura smashed me over the head?

"Man, you should go to the cops. If some dude smacked me in the head with his bookbag like that, I'd think I'd use ole woodsy," he briefly turned his eyes from Asakura's backside to his bat, "to make 'em a lil' prettier."

"So who hit me?"

"I don't know. Some short little runt I see around every now and then but I don't know his name."

"Okay." That's all he knew?

"I'm off. Why do some guys get all the f^ing luck?..." he rambled on as he walked away.

This would have been the third reality Asakura tried killing me in. Third time is a charm I suppose. I raced ahead to catch up with Asakura.

^---^

Asakura had wanted to break into Nagato's apartment and jump on her while she slept. Much to Asakura's chagrin, she was awake when shed entered from the balcony, and nearly brained her with a frying pan. After some coaxing by Asakura, I swear she was flashing cleavage at her, Nagato agreed to eat with us. Asakura was a little dismayed that her attempt at coaxing Nagato were outclassed by my simple request to eat with us.

Asakura's cupboards and fridge were packed with just about any ingredient you would ever need; even better than my mother's considerably supplied kitchen. Asakura had told me once that Nagato is a big eater so I had to make sure to leave enough for seconds. I looked back at the tiny girl; it was hard to believe she ate much of anything.

Asakura was literarily bouncing while she read the paper; even singing and Nagato was staring at her like she could comprehend how someone could be so happy

I turned back to cooking the western style breakfast that I had planned. Nagato appeared beside me without a sound.

"Yesterday, I tailed John Doe and Kana. Kana is closer to Haruhi's personality type than I originally assumed. Perhaps her own personality is unraveling as she becomes dissatisfied with this reality. John appears to share many things in common with yourself."

"So you followed them around all afternoon?" I can picture Nagato hiding behind a bush peeking out like a little mouse as she followed them around town.

"Kana became enraged when John spoke with two female track and field members. Her manner of speaking and tone of voice were similar to Haruhi's. Her verbal threats and insults were also reminiscent of her."

"So you're saying that Kana is Haruhi."

"I do not know for certain and without connection to the Integrated Data Sentient Entity, but the possibility is considerable. Until the moment when she became angry, I judged them to be different entities."

"So what do we do about this?" Nagato shifted her eyes from Asakura to the omelet as I spoke.

"Have you figured out why she created this reality?" A talkative Nagato is a rare sight, especially one whom isn't seemingly stringing random multi-syllable words together.

"I think so."

"This reality is continuing to destabilize. Yesterday, Asakura asked..."

"Nagato, are you bothering our cook?" Asakura yelled from the adjoining room. "I'll be forced to read a certain someone's fanfiction if that certain someone doesn't stop bothering our handsome cook."

Nagato continued, "If Haruhi were to become dissatisfied with this reality than she may create another reality that better suits her interests."

"But what do we do to stop it."

Nagato was silent for a moment. "Entertain her."

Asakura, from out of nowhere, threw her arms around Nagato's tiny shoulders. Slowly working her warm breath up Nagato's neck...was that a nibble... she whispered something to Nagato.

Nagato was listening intently; her cheeks filling with blood. She had her eyes closed and was trembling ever so lightly; it looked like she would become a puddle on the floor any minute. Like a summer storm it was over and Asakura patted Nagato on the bum and pushed her in the direction of the door.

"What did you just do?"

She grabbed me and pressed herself against me. "Not for little boys' ears. If she doesn't behave I'm posting her fanfiction somewhere lots of people will see it."

"Is it that embarrassing?"

"Tee hee. She writes amazing love scenes." Asakura winked at me and then did a little spin and left the room.

I can see why Asakura was a little jealous of Nagato's attention to myself. Nagato was like a dog cat and Asakura a dog. It's quite obvious when Asakura is in a good mood since she'll wag her tail and want to snuggle with you. Nagato, on the other hand, was difficult to get to do anything at all; her minor shows of affection counted for a lot. I don't think Asakura's antennae picks up on those small signals Nagato gives.

An acrid smell filled my nostrils, the bacon was becoming a little crispier than I had intended. This is what I get for daydreaming.

Like Asakura said, Nagato was a big eater. She was nearly eating out of the plate while it was still in my hand.

"It is supposed to be a barometrically perfect evening. You should go out with Kyon, I have coupons for passes at the theatre as well. It will make up for my becoming separated from you yesterday evening." Nagato somehow spoke between mouthfuls of omelet.

Asakura coughed violently, shaking the kotatsu. "Nagato...cough...did you just...cough..." A tiny smile crinkled her lips. Noticing my eyes on her she covered her mouth and coughed some more.

"If you are choking I can break your ribs to expel the obstruction." Nagato continued to eat but was watching her friend carefully.

"Nagato, you don't usually break ribs for that. I think you're thinking of CPR...which I hope she doesn't need any time soon." It was then that something unexpected happened. Nagato winked at me. It wasn't so brief I almost missed it, but she made eye contact and winked her left eye, remaining completely composed otherwise. It made my heart skip a beat and I felt winded. What the hell did that mean? Is some kind of data monster going to eat my soul if I don't talk with her immediately? Did Asakura snap at some point that only Nagato can pick up on? I had to stop eating, my hands were too shaky to pick up the food.

Something else hit me like a runaway vegetable cart coasting down a hill. What would happen to Nagato if we go back to our "own" reality? When she had changed things herself she went back to hiding her budding emotions behind her mask like face. This time she has a years worth of memories to go along with her more open emotions. She doesn't even seem like the same person I remember.

^---^

Asakura was bouncing by my side as we walked arm in arm. She reminded me of a puppy. If she had a tail it would definitely be wagging with the power of an industrial fan. Unlike Haruhi, who'd be dragging me somewhere at top speed and/or turning up her nose and calling be an idiot, Asakura was remarkable.

I decided, or rather Nagato (whom never got around to telling me what the wink was about), that we should see a 6:30 movie and than have dinner afterwards.

There were dozens of couples enjoying the warm evening air. Short couples, tall couples, fat couples, they were everywhere. Walking by the river, staring off in space, fighting over things, and having extreme displays of public affection. Hopefully they don't all have the same plans has us.

The theater was just ahead and despite it being close to 6:30, there was hardly anyone waiting around outside. It was hardly weather to be stuck inside a hot building but Nagato had charted out my actions and I must abide by her plan.

"Woo! Lets see Marebito."

"Isn't that movie 5 years old? Why is it even playing?"

"Who cares? Lets see it!"

I hated that movie the first time I saw it. There didn't seem to be anything else that I wanted to see, and I especially didn't want to see Ringu again. Why was there some kind of horror fest at this time of year? There wasn't even so much as an advertisement to be seen anywhere. Shouldn't there be lovey dovey sappy movies playing to encourage all these couple to spend some money? Who wants to watch someone get stabbed in the eye on a date...if it were Mikuru she'd cling adoringly to my arm and I'd console her... Asakura? No way, she's more likely to get inspiration from this type of movie. What am I saying! Well, at least we have coupons.

There was only one other couple looking at the movie posters and they seemed to be quarrelling. The girl turned and glared at her partner, narrowing her eyes and biting her lip, she didn't say anything. She was definitely pretty, long auburn hair nearly down to her waist and a tiny figure. Is that Kana? It didn't quite look like her because she had her hair down...and my eyes might have been focused elsewhere.

Like any heterosexual male, my eyes were naturally drawn to Kana so I hadn't really noticed her partner...it was definitely John. I'd know my doppelganger anywhere.

It was odd to run into them out of nowhere. Nagato's haunting wink flashed in my mind for a second and everything became clear why this sort of coincidence would happen. How did she know both of us would end up here? Who needs Itsuki when you have Nagato pulling our puppet strings?

* * *

Sorry for the very very late update.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: The author of the fanfiction (babbler) does not, in any way, profit from the story and that all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator.

* * *

Foreshadowing?

Chapter 11: The Love Potion of Haruhi Suzumiya

There was something about this movie I didn't like from the moment I sat down. There was nothing overly wrong with the quality, though, it was an amateur made movie. There wasn't anything wrong with the actors despite them occasionally choking on their lines. I was trembling and barely suppressing the urge to make for the door. Asakura was smiling and happily eating her popcorn.

The premise of this awful movie was about a small coastal town in Oita prefecture. It centered on a couple of high school students and the craziness around them...

Crash!

Daichi Nishitani grudgingly rolled out of bed and rubbed his eyes. Maybe Mio had dropped a plate. He walked downstairs to make sure his lover hadn't hurt herself. She was a klutz and would probably walk on something sharp if he didn't get down there.

It was pitch black in the narrow stairwell, but at the bottom of the stairs blue light from the full moon peeked under the kitchen door. Daichi pushed the door open and prepared to shield his eyes from the bright light, but Mio's unmoving shadow drew his attention. Her blue hair was nearly shining.

She was just standing there, her features blanketed in shadow. He started feeling for the light switch.

"You won't be able to sleep if you turn on the light. Leave it to me. I'll clean up. Go back to bed."

"Are you sure? I don't want you to cut yourself."

Daichi turned to leave, but remembering how clumsy Mio was, turned on the light and reached for the dustpan. Even in the darkness he knew exactly where everything was. He closed his eyes so he wouldn't be blinded and felt his way across the room using the counter to guide him.

Daichi's stepped forward and nearly fell; his foot sliding as he stepped in something slippery and warm. He opened his eyes...there was a long red streak leading from the back door all the way to Mio.

"Didn't I say I could handle this?" Mio smiled back at him with glistening eyes.

There was a bit of red splattered on her face, on her t-shirt, and running down her arm before dripping off of the tip of a filleting knife Mio held tightly clenched in her hand.

She was clutching... long brown hair in her other hand. A blood soaked yellow ribbon was laying in the puddle of blood at her feet. The girl's neck was at a 90-degree angle; the blood still gushing from the jagged wound across her throat.

"I'm fine. Go back to bed. I'll clean up and then join you." The smile never dropped from her face.

The screen faded to black.

It was finally over. I unclenched the armrests and slid down in my seat. My muscles were aching from trying to suppress the trembling.

"What a stupid movie!" Asakura poked Kyon to get his attention. "Why would she drag a bleeding girl half across town to her boyfriends house before killing her?"

"The algae bloom stuff in the water was making everyone crazy remember?"

"Oh yeah! I forgot about that. Still I think I would have bludgeoned my two timing boyfriend to death before going out of my way to look for that girl."

Kana was clasping and unclasping her hands and opening her mouth occasionally like she wanted to say something. She roused John awake, all the while glancing sideways at Asakura.

John groaned, got to his feet, and stretched. I don't know how anyone could sleep through a movie like that. He sauntered into the aisle and out the door without so much as glancing back at us.

"Do you still want to go get something to eat? It looks like you two are fighting." Asakura nudged Kana from behind.

"I...umh..." She pulled away from Asakura. "Okay."

Asakura pushed me out into the aisle. "Come on slow poke! If we don't hurry up we'll get caught in the rush at the restaurant."

"Kana, you don't have to come with us if you don't want to."

"I...want to." She was watching the floor as she walked, timidly holding her hands in front of her. I couldn't help but notice a pretty smile aimed my way.

"You know Kyon," Asakura said hugging into my arm as we walked into the still sweltering late evening air, "you could have cuddled into my arm if you were scared during the movie."

"I wasn't scared! I was...cold. That place should turn down the damn air conditioning."

Maybe Haruhi was giving me a glimpse of the future with that horrible movie if things don't go back to normal...I mean the other reality or whatever you might call it.

John was waiting outside for us and matched pace with Kana as we walked up the street to where Asakura wanted to eat. Kana was apprehensively watching him out of the corner of her eye; if it were Haruhi I'd figure she drag him into a alley and that would be the end of my doppelganger. I wonder if reality is changing now that she is upset, or maybe the Kana mask is shielding reality somewhat. It's hard to believe Haruhi is in Kana's head somewhere.

The restaurant was on the second floor of what looked like a small office tower. Their small balcony was already packed with people, which was good because I didn't want to eat in the sweltering heat anyway. I'd rather have the cramped booth near the noisy foreigners.

Kana didn't want to face John so they both ended up on one side of the table facing Asakura and I. This meant I had to face John, which wasn't exactly my idea of a romantic evening. I turned to the window out of respite of the awkward silence that had occupied every inch of the walk here.

"Damn it!" Staring back at me from the other side of the glass was a brick wall. Why the hell would anyone put a window here? Their brickwork is so fine that I just want to marvel at it while I eat my meal! This felt like a perfect metaphor for this evening.

"Thank you two for helping Kyon the other day. I'm sorry I was a little cross but I'll make it up for you by buying dessert." Asakura flashed her biggest smile.

"Oh, um...thank you." Kana blushed avoiding Asakura's eyes. "I haven't... eaten here before are their desserts good?"

"That's why I picked this place! I used to always try to get Nagato to come with me but the last time we passed a little too close to the library and...well, we got sidetracked." Asakura put her hand on my thigh. "Kyon's awesome. He'll follow me around like a little puppy and all it takes is subtle mix of bribery and coercion."

"...I learned after my first yubitsume that it's better to listen to Ane-san than be wilful." I couldn't help but add.

"Do not speak of such things in polite company," Asakura growled.

"That would explain the rumours." Kana seemed to be suppressing a giggle. "Most of the guys are a little bit afraid of you."

"Woe be it to those who encroach on my territory or my business."

"I wish John was smart enough to joke around like this."

"Remember that IQ test we took? I'm smarter than you." John ignored Asakura as he folded a napkin into some kind of mutated swan.

"What! You took the test after me and used my answers!" Kana slammed her hands on table.

"Um...in my book letting you do the test first and then using some of you answers makes me smarter. Besides, I'm not the one writing messages to aliens."

"How does that have anything to do with intelligence?" Something familiar flashed behind Kana's eyes; the Haruhi was awakening within her.

"It takes some serious brain damage to think aliens are going to have interest in a... girl like you."

"Girl like me! Girl like me what? Why don't you say it! Say it you f^cking coward!" Her eyes were already watery.

He mumbled something under his breath; the only word of which I caught was "cheating," and Kana's face lost its colour.

Asakura slid closer to me and felt for my hand under the table.

John gave me a sideways glance then hopped over the booth into the empty one behind us and walked away without another word. I wonder what I would have reacted like? Could I take this as a demonstration of what I'll be like when my significant other and I fight? Then again, I think the last time Haruhi made me mad I tried to hit her, but in my defence, she had stepped over the line.

"I'm sorry for ruining your date." Kana was resting her elbows on the table with her face tightly pressed against her hands. Tears were dripping down the sides of her face.

"Oi! Your mascara is running. Lets go to the washroom to clean up." Asakura reached across the table to take Kana's hand. I wonder if she's feeling this awkwardness as keenly as I am?

"I don't want anyone to see me like this."

"How about I go and see if I can speed up the drink orders." Asakura sprinted away from the table.

"Asakura!" Damn her. Leaving me alone like this.

Kana was sobbing hard. The last time I remember crying like that was when I was five years old at a festival with my mom. I still have a soft spot for those ultron masks. Crap! I'm getting sidetracked. How do I not seem like an insensitive sod in this situation?

"Maybe it would be better with a cool breeze on your face? Most of the people on the balcony are gone now."

Kana's peeked at me between her fingers. "Okay."

Now that was definitely not a Haruhi response. I figure: "Shut up stupid," or "Idiot," or even "Die in a fire!" would have been more appropriate coming from Haruhi's mouth. Her quiet "Okay," was like watching a slobbering german shepherd bare its teeth and meow. That little glimpse of Haruhi's earlier, when she was mad, as been totally eclipsed by this quivering mass of Haruhi-likeness.

She wiped her eyes and got out of the seat hesitantly. She looked so lonely wandering over to the door that I had to go after her. Asakura would understand.

Nearly everyone had left the balcony. There was only one couple to our far left almost out of sight of us. We had the corner all to ourselves.

"I heard him saying things about me to his...team mates. I wish I could find someone honest with me. I mean, what's wrong with being a little weird? That I can't accept that this boring reality is...is all this life has to offer..."

"Hmm." This somehow seamed familiar...unfortunately I didn't know what to say the last time either.

"Haha. I can almost see the gears turning in you head, which is more than I can say for John. John would say I was stupid for saying something like that...and he'd be awfully jealous to see us talking like this. A few years ago I wrote this huge message at our school using the chalk-dust-line-writer-thingy. John helped me...so I don't know what...changed." Tears were trickling down her cheeks again.

"Do you think there are aliens or time travelers? How can there just be what we see with our eyes?"

Maybe it was my imagination but Kana seemed to be drifting closer to me. Her hand was almost on top of mine. Her big dewy brown eyes were trained directly on my own.

Do or die. I need to get reality back the way it's supposed to be.

I leaned in, our lips met, and my eyes closed. Would it be Haruhi who shined back at me when I opened them again? We opened our eyes at the same time but a blue strand of hair distracted me as it slipped out from the corner of my eye.

Kana left at a sprint that only Haruhi, or Nagato, could muster.

"Kyon! Where were you?" Asakura dragged me back into the restaurant. "I don't feel like eating after all this. Let's go home." There were three glasses resting against the windowsill; all completely full: orange soda for Kana, and iced tea for me and Asakura.

Didn't things change immediately last time?

"We have a math test coming up don't we." The weather was finally cool enough to walk at a leisurely pace. "You'd better do a better job of studying than you did last time! I mean what are people going to think if the person I'm dating can only manage a 79?"

Asakura was talking animatedly as we walked along in the near darkness. I couldn't help but watch her every gesture and mannerism for a response to what she had most definitely saw. If it were Nagato, I could have read her like a book, but Asakura was somehow harder.

"Why are you looking at me like that? Ooh! A puppet show! Lets watch." Sure enough an old bearded man had set up a small draped booth on the side of the street.

"Are you five?" This had to be some kind of special showing. There were no children around at this time of day but there was a small audience of adults waiting for the show to begin.

"Don't be a spoil sport!" She dragged me over to the steadily growing crowd.

The old man put a small placard through the curtain signalling he would be doing Little Red Riding Hood. A wave of anticipation moved through the crowd with some walking away with a groan. It makes me wonder what interpretation of the story he would be doing? Don't all these fairy tales have some brutal origin?

The curtain opened and a marionette skipped onto stage. Little Red Riding Hood had long slender legs and a short skirt; there was nothing little about this girl. She skipped across the stage humming a tune as catcalls and whistles came from the woodland creatures painted in the background. If you couldn't tell already where the story was going, the wolf appeared from off screen, he had a string attached to his four limbs and another attached to his...

"I didn't want that version. I wanted the one where the Hunter skins Granny and chases Riding Hood through the forest," Asakura whispered.

"I never heard that one."

"It's great. That little trollop should get what's coming to her."

"I'm fairly certain she's going to get what coming to her in this story as well."

Asakura began to walk away and I followed her. She kept looking back at something.

"Kyon, what do you suppose happens to those puppets in his suitcase?"

"I don't know."

__^^___

Asakura didn't say a word the entire trip from train station to her apartment building.

"I'm tired Kyon. I'd invite you in but I'm just going straight to bed."

"Okay."

"Do you...do you think if you fall out of the spot light," she paused for a second, hands clasped behind her back, "that you no longer exist."

A shiver rippled through my body. Images of standing in our classroom bathed in orange light from the setting sun ran through my mind. The last time her though process moved like this I almost got stabbed.

"...that things change and no one can tell the difference? How do I know I've existed all this time? I could have replaced the last actress that got axed and never know the difference. If it was a day ago or a year ago how would I ever know?"

"You've lost me."

"Don't act stupid Kyon. It doesn't suit you. So I just strut and fret my hour upon the stage? What if I start improvising? Like if a main character were to die violently while squarely in the spotlight? Things would change and if the character is being written out anyway, than things can't be worse?" She grabbed my head and pulled me violently into a kiss, pressing her body as tightly as she could against my own. Asakura's body felt so warm and in stark contrast to the ice water running through my veins. Maybe Nagato would rush to my rescue...but I couldn't help but think of the mousy Nagato sitting in the next room reading her book. She didn't have the Data Entity backing her up and would be eaten alive by this world's Asakura.

Asakura unlocked her door with slow measured movements, trained her steely eyes on me, forced a smile, and closed the door. I backed away cautiously, step by step, until I reached the stairs. Images of her racing toward me with sharp steel glistening in her hands raced through my mind. Pursued by that thought, the rest of the way home was a blur.

My mind was racing when my head hit the pillow, but sleep found me quickly.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: The author of the fanfiction (babbler) does not, in any way, profit from the story and that all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator.

* * *

....

Chapter 12: The Love Potion of Haruhi Suzumiya

I opened my eyes to almost total darkness. There was a thump downstairs so I pulled myself out of bed and reached for my cell phone. If it was a robber I wanted to be able to call the police...maybe I should take my baseball bat too.

The hallway was bright so I could see all the way down the stairs to the door leading to the kitchen. I was trembling so hard as I could barely hold onto the things I was holding. I stopped at the bottom step, unable to move forward. There was someone rustling just on the other side of the door.

I couldn't make myself move forward. There could be a psychotic killer on the other side and all I have is this bat, though, he doesn't sound that psychotic. You'd figure he be banging like a demon if he were having mental troubles, so it's probably just a robber. The robber would be surprised when I barged through the door since it doesn't seem like he heard me, and this is Japan, he probably doesn't have a gun. This bat should be more than enough to scare him. I took a deep breath and stepped forward...there was a warm puddle under my foot. We were quite a ways from the water so algae blooms shouldn't be causing any craziness, but Asakura never needed algae to stab someone.

"Thank you brain for such a comforting thought."

The door creaked open and my eyes were immediately drawn to the steel shining in the moonlight as it moved through the door. I don't want to be here...

"Oni-chan?" My heart was pounding so hard in my ears that I could hardly hear her say it. "How come you have a bat?"

I must have imagined the knife in my sister's hand because she was holding a frying pan.

"I tried making some warm milk but I wasted it all over the floor."

"You used a frying pan?"

"Yeah? Can you help me clean up? I don't want to wake mom."

"Sure." Wait did she call me Oni-chan? "Go to bed I'll clean this up." She walked off to the stairs yawning and rubbing her eyes. I placed the bat by the counter and dropped the cell phone into my pocket.

Imuto-chan hadn't wasted that much milk so it was easy to clean up, but I had to make sure everything wouldn't smell sour in the morning so it still took a while. It was only 1:00 am even though it felt much later.

I went to rinse the cleaning cloth I was using and couldn't help but notice the full moon out and the perfectly clear night. I wish I could see the stars but I would have to go way out in the country see them. I could hear traffic a few streets over but it was completely quiet on this street; not even a drunken salary man heading home. There was, however, a shining blue head of hair sitting on the front steps.

"What the heck are you doing here?' I said opening the door.

Asakura jumped, "I...I was thinking of coming in for a cuddle but I somehow ended up just sitting here." She didn't look very happy.

"What's wrong?" I put my arm around her and instantly regretted letting those words escape my lips.

"Hahahaha! I can't believe you just asked me that. You're joking right?"

"What? I kissed her. That was it!"

"But how can I believe you when you're sneaking around with Asahina-sempai, Tsuruya-san, and Nagato? Well...not Tsuruya so much, but I did find you KISSING Kana!"

"I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say other than it won't happen again. If I could tell you what's going on I know you'd forgive me."

"Maybe I know more than you think," she mumbled. "We're even anyway, though Nagato might never speak to me again." She started walking away, arms tightly crossed as she tried to shield herself from the cold...or maybe the pain I was causing her.

She walked off in the opposite direction of her apartment. Maybe she was taking the long way home to think. The conversation actually went well considering I expected her to whip out a knife at any moment. The key to success in these types of situations is having the lowest possible expectations.

I could clearly see the lunar mares making the man in the moon. The street light near our house was out so there was no glare. It's hard to believe that moon's right eye is a crater 1123 km's across.

I realized when my fingers had begun going numb that I was sitting there staring at the moon for twenty minutes. I should have at the very least walked Asakura home.

"Asakura's scary so she'll be okay." I can't believe I said that. I have to stop thinking out loud.

Slap. Slap. Slap. Slap.

There was a sound like bare feet on pavement steadily coming closer. I hope it's not some weirdo or strung out drug fiend, but before I could finish the thought, Kana came into view. She was running as fast as she could and tightly holding her stomach like a runner with a stitch.

"Kyon?" She slowed down momentarily and then grabbed my hand and began dragging me after her.

"What's going on?" I could barely keep pace with her even though my legs were much longer.

She pulled me into an alley between a couple of houses and then collapsed against the wall. I peeked out around the corner, ready for someone or something, to jump out at me...but there was nothing. I tried listening intently but I could only hear far off traffic and the low murmur of a television.

Kana was laying face up on the ground and breathing hard. The alleyway was dark but I could tell she was barefoot and only wearing a thin t-shirt and black shorts. Whatever it was, she had left her apartment in a hurry. She pulled herself off the ground, and with a wobble, peeked around the corner at the other end of the alley.

"What's wrong? I have a phone if you're in..." Her face was illuminated briefly and I noticed her nose was at an angle and blood was gushing down her lips and dripping on the ground. "What happened to your nose? Did you just hit it?" I was positive I hadn't seen it when she ran past. So much blood!

"Do you know where we are? Can you call the police? I called at my apartment but that's not much good now."

"Okay." There was a dark shadow on the front of her t-shirt. "Kana, what's wrong with your stomach?"

"Nothing," she said flatly, though I noticed her jump.

"Oh no you don't! Show me!"

Like a little child afraid to get in trouble, she turned toward me and moved her arm a little. I noticed her t-shirt was drenched in blood and it was dripping down her legs. It was hard to bring myself to look at where she was wounded...she was holding her intestines in. Pink wet innards, that should never be visible, clearly were.

Did she run all the way from her apartment holding that wound like that? What kind of stones did this girl have? I would have gotten sick after seeing my own insides and never had made it past the front porch!

"Crap! We need a wet towel. Kana sit down, you've lost a lot of blood."

I nearly threw my phone down the street as I pulled it out of my pocket. My hands were shaking and I kept pushing the wrong buttons.

Clunk!

My legs came out from under me and I barely saved my face from hitting the ground. I couldn't breath.

"If this moron wasn't so loud I wouldn't have found you." I couldn't put my finger on the voice, heck, there were at least three of him swirling around.

Kana tried to run but she couldn't pick herself up. Her pursuer was carrying a bat with nails or something driven into it and was slowly, taking his time, walking toward her. Dragging out Kana's agony.

I pushed myself up and gingerly got to my wobbly legs. He was saying something but I wasn't listening. It was too difficult trying to not make noise when your legs were barely staying underneath you.

I couldn't take my eyes off Kana. Her face seemed white and her steady breathing was the only movement she was making, then she closed her eyes. He reared back for the final swing.

As I rushed forward, everything seemed to slow down, and my body started shaking vigorously. It was like looking through a telescope, all I could see was him as I drove my shoulder, with all my weight behind it, into his back.

We both fell to the ground hard and the bat went rolling into the darkness. He started to move immediately trying to squirm out of my hold and reach for his weapon. He was strong, perhaps adrenaline was gripping him as hard as it was myself. He managed to get his hand on the bat.

He smelt familiar. As a heterosexual male, that didn't come out quite right. I had smelt his aftershave recently...when we were at supper earlier. This was John. My doppelganger was trying to kill Kana! Had tried to kill me!

John swung the bat awkwardly behind him and it bounced off my shoulder without hurting. I dove onto him again and wrapped my arm around his neck and trapped him in a chokehold; I think I learned it from Haruhi. I guess she was useful for once.

"Let me go! Do you have any idea what that girl has done."

"Well you shut up!"

"I had a girlfriend before her that disappeared off the face of the Earth? It's like she never existed...I only remembered her lately. I was a great batter and now I'm crap. My grades went to sh*t after she showed up!"

I tried squeezing harder but he kept on talking. "We were at the park once and she said she love to see some cherry blossoms and suddenly the park is full of them! I think I had two younger brothers and now I can hardly remember them...no one else remembers them! She..." I could feel hot tears splashing on my hands. He was sobbing so hard he couldn't talk anymore.

"Kana! Go use my phone while I hold him here." I turned to look back at her. She was whiter than before and her head was drooping. The life was draining out of her "Kana!"

His foot connected between my legs and pain swept through my body. John squirmed out of my grasp, kicking me in the face as he climbed to his feet.

Kana's eyes were closing but they suddenly went wide and her mouth opened but no words came out. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the blur of the bat coming closer....

_-^-_

The sun roused me from my sleep. I was hoping something would be different but only the same old ceiling stared back at me that had stared back at me for as long as I could remember. There was nothing I could see different in my room, but then again, I had a years worth of memories since Haruhi changed reality, so how the heck would I know what my room was like back then.

If things didn't change back, I may not have to worry about figuring out how... it suddenly hit me all at once and I remembered our late night fight and Kana bleeding to death. I felt fine. Did the fight happen and someone brought me back to my room? No, that was impossible. I wasn't sore at all. John had kicked me in a sensitive place and he had landed on my arm when I tackled him but there was no evidence of injury.

The world had changed back!

I barged out the door, nearly hitting imouto-chan and ran down the stairs. The little cutie was yawning and rubbing her eyes so I grabbed her and held her up in the air as I twirled.

"Mom! Kyon's too happy. Make him stop!"

I hurriedly dressed, ate breakfast, and bounded up the hill to school. I had to see if things were really back to normal and couldn't bother with the small details.

Itsuki and Mikuru were sitting in the clubroom, perhaps waiting for my report of the night before. This should be the day after Haruhi had been kicked in the ribs during her fight with Ume.

"So we're still here," Itsuki began, "I surmise that your little rendezvous with Haruhi was successful." That stupid enraging smile, though I think I'm glad to see it again.

Mikuru jumped at hearing this, "Itsuki? You don't remember anything that happened at all? I only remember bits and pieces myself..."

Itsuki looked disheartened, "Then tell me all about it. We have plenty of time before the bell rings and I am most interested in Kyon's story."

It took nearly fifteen minutes to finish the tale, especially with all of Itsuki's questions, but I managed to finish with Mikuru's help.

"I'm saddened by this tale," he said still smiling brightly, "Why didn't you try to find me?"

"Umm...well...with Haruhi missing and Asakura..."

"How come Suzumiya-san was not like herself?" Mikuru came to my rescue.

"It's difficult to say, but I think she was extremely hurt by what happened that night, last night to me, and simply wanted to be someone else." Itsuki paused for a second in deep thought. "I think it shows maturity on her part, that even when she was retreating, stepping on broken glass and moving through thorns, that she chose to make her beloved happy."

"Why Asakura?" I spluttered.

"I think it's quite easy to figure out why. She picked the least threatening person to herself to be your girlfriend."

She tried to kill me twice! How was she the least threatening?

"Suzumiya-san doesn't know that. She picked someone she thought was a good choice for you and Asakura was a good choice in that reality was she not?"

I couldn't deny this logic...wait did I say the last part out loud?

"Suzumiya-san doesn't like Aiko and the girls, Mikuru and Nagato are out for obvious reasons, so nice class representative was chosen. Don't you think you could have lived your happy ever after with Asakura?"

Yet she picked someone for herself that hurt her.

"You hurt her and she keeps wagging her happily following you." Itsuki put his hand upon my own and gazed into my eyes. I quickly moved my chair further away from him.

Itsuki was silent for a moment and for the first time since I known him, lost the smile from his face, if just for a second. "John Smith didn't seem to be part of her original scenario. She overwrote somebody to become him. Maybe it was because her power was diminished in Kana's form so she couldn't create someone. Maybe Nagato could confirm my suspicions."

"So instead she changed someone kicking and screaming into something that he wasn't?"

"I wouldn't go quite that far. His memories probably began to return as Suzumiya-san became dissatisfied."

The thought of being trapped inside a body that was no longer my own was chilling. It emphasized all the more the reason why we need to keep Haruhi from becoming bored.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

I walked back to the classroom on that somber note.

I opened the classroom door to find Haruhi staring at me with a beautiful smile. Despite what I had just said, it was oddly comforting to see her sitting there.

"How are your ribs?" I asked sitting in my seat.

"They're sore but I'll manage. I got a great idea for after school!" She grabbed the collar of my shirt.

"Does it involve running around aimlessly downtown for hours?"

She loosened her grip for a second and then pulled me closer. "Yours is to do or die not to question why! Lord Alfred Tennyson is not a man to trifle with!"

What?

"You'll find out after school." She became quiet for a second and looked out the window. "I had the weirdest dream last night."

Who says I want to hear about it? Do I look like Freud?

"Shut-up! I was this meek little plain girl...Ugh! I can't imagine being like that!"

Hmm, must have been awful.

"Didn't I tell you to shut-up! I don't need a running commentary! Anyway...he tried to beat the crap out of me with a baseball bat and then this...hot guy...I mean a police man saved me."

Doesn't seem to line up with the events I remember. "Why the hell was he trying to beat you with a bat?"

"I was flirting with another guy...and I kinda kissed him."

Considering someone changed reality and erased who knows how many lives because Mikuru and I were flirting, I wouldn't be too hard on someone who reacts that way when their girlfriend actually cheats on them.

Before I knew it the day was over and Haruhi was dragging me out of the classroom.

"I need to get a few things. Go tell the others they're dismissed for the day but they need to show up tomorrow with these things." She handed me a list...it was long.

I couldn't help but read through the list as I walked along corridor to the clubroom. What the heck is a jigger?

I tripped over a box and fell flat on my face. Next to one of the student council rooms was a small box with discarded odds and ends: a broken trophy, a picture frame, some dusty fabric, etc. Lining one of the walls that I could see through the open doorway were pictures of all the class representatives. Some of the pictures were from last year. Maybe if they had one of Asakura I could borrow it.

I didn't see one of her but as I picked up the list Haruhi gave me I noticed a familiar blue-headed girl peaking out from the box. Under the rubble was a picture of Asakura smiling away.

If you had tied an anchor to my heart it wouldn't have dropped so fast as it did when I saw her peaking out of the rubbish.

"They threw her away." Tears were already rolling down my cheeks.

She was only a class representative for a short time so that's probably why they threw her picture out. How many people knew her? How many still remember her now? Haruhi, Nagato, myself...there might be a few more. Now she's gone and no one remembers her. She was no longer needed...cast out from the spotlight

I would never see Asakura again...never see that perfect smile and all because we have to keep this selfish girl satisfied. How many lives had I sacrificed with that kiss (technically, it was nearly getting my head bashed in)? How many different realities that she gone through before she came to this one?

"Maybe John had the right solution in mind. Get rid of the problem once and for all."

"Kyon! Are you crying?" Haruhi screamed running down the hall. I slipped the picture into my pocket. It would look nice on my desk...too bad I didn't have one with both of us in it.

"I just got some dust in my eyes when I tripped over this box."

"Don't bother with that garbage! We need to get going."

I'll remember you Asakura.

* * *

This story certainly didn't end up where I had intended it to go when I planned it, but I tried to take a realistic approach to what would happen to a girl with this kind of power. It also seems the story lost much of the humor toward the end. I think I'm a bit rusty since my sentences don't seem to flow as well as they used to.

If you're wondering why these last few chapters have taken so long to write, then the answer is Demon's Souls. I have poured numerous hours, that I should have spent doing something else, into that game...but now I'm sick of it and thus you have two new chapters after a couple of months of waiting.

Thanks for all the reviews I've received so far.


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